


I Got You

by amaxingbaek



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Untagged for Relationships, mentions of Tao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 04:46:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6359839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amaxingbaek/pseuds/amaxingbaek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“A place to crash, I got you. No need to ask, I got you. And when you need a place to run to, for better for worse, I got you.” hs!au.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Got You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [deadheartbeats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadheartbeats/gifts).



> **Title:** I Got You  
>  **Pairing(s):** Jongin/Sehun, Jongin/Yooyoung (Hello Venus), brief Jongin/Luhan  
>  **Rating:** PG-13  
>  **Word count:** ~30k  
>  **Warning(s):** Baekhyun, Luhan as a character, brief mention of Zitao as a character, incorrect age portrayal (Sehun, Jongin, Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, and Luhan are all the same age), a disgusting amount of feelings  
>  **Author’s Note:** This is something that I started years ago and was supposed to be done in time for prismgirl's birthday but life sucks and I only finished it now. Regardless!! I hope you had a wonderful birthday, sorry this is so late, and I hope everyone reading likes this ^^  
>  This is heavily, heavily inspired by a performance from So You Think You Can Dance years ago. The song used is “I Got You” by Leona Lewis, for which this is titled after and for which I used lyrics for the summary.

Sehun never thought that his life would be this complicated. Growing up, the only thing he aspired to was becoming a superhero, easy and simple. He could beat up the bad guys and save the pretty girls (who may or may not have had cooties) and people would love him. Yet here he is at the ripe age of eighteen irrevocably in love with his best friend. His male best friend.

Sehun shouldn’t be surprised, he supposes, because he figured out a while ago that there was a reason he didn’t want to save the pretty girls and it had nothing to do with cooties.

His life took a turn for the worse when Kim Jongin moved into town.

It was the first day of seventh grade and thirteen year old Sehun was chatting with his friends like any other day. When the teacher walked in, there was a boy behind him who was nervously chewing on his bottom lip, hands fretting with the bottom of his shirt. His black hair hung in his eyes, head down as the teacher started talking. After introducing himself as Kim Jongin, Sehun felt something pull on his insides, almost begging him to talk to this new student. The boy looked so fragile and scared that Sehun felt an overwhelming urge to include him into his circle of friends and bring him out of his shell.

So he did.

Five years later and they’re best friends. When they’re together, no one else matters, the two of them absorbed in some kind of conversation, topics ranging from ice cream to homework to video games. It’s rare to see one without the other, although it does happen every now and then, such as now.

“Those are the tightest pair of jeans that I’ve ever seen,” Baekhyun marvels, watching another senior, Luhan, walk past their table at lunch. “How does he even manage to shimmy into those in the morning?”

Kyungsoo snorts. “You’re one to talk. I’m surprised you haven’t lost function of the bottom half of your body with how tight _your_ pants are.”

Huffing, Baekhyun fixes Kyungsoo with a glare. Entirely unaffected, Kyungsoo just raises an eyebrow before going back to his lunch, Baekhyun practically fuming in his seat. Sehun quietly snickers into his hand.

“Don’t think that I can’t hear you, Oh Sehun,” Baekhyun snaps, causing Sehun to laugh outright. It’s cute how funny Baekhyun looks when he’s mad, eyebrows scrunching together, face red.

“What did I miss?” Jongin slips in next to Sehun easily, the sound of his tray hitting the table jarring. Sehun can feel the warmth Jongin exudes from the short distance, relaxing ever so slightly.

“Nothing,” Baekhyun replies quickly, kicking Sehun when he starts to lean over to whisper in Jongin’s ear. Whining, Sehun rubs his shin, positive that there’s going to be a bruise there tomorrow. Baekhyun didn’t take hapkido for nothing, something that he never fails to remind them of with a smug little grin on his stupid face.

“Are you still coming over today?” Jongin changes the topic, unwrapping his burger before taking a bite. Sehun’s thankful that Jongin doesn’t chew while he talks, although he doesn’t think he would really mind. Jongin’s perfect, so if he happens to have that habit, so be it. Lord knows that Sehun has really embarrassing tendencies.

Sehun hums noncommittally, poking his chicken in disgust. He wonders if it will spring up and attack him at any moment. The liquid underneath the meat is a disturbing shade of light green and he wouldn’t put it past the lunch lady to give him something toxic. He always knew that she had something against him.

“What do you guys even do? It better not be anything kinky. I can’t afford to have friends like that.” Baekhyun looks like he’s seconds away from bolting, although everyone at the table knows that he’s just being Baekhyun.

Jongin has this smirk on his face, the rare tilt of the lips that never fails to reduce Sehun into a puddle, but he knows that whatever Jongin’s about to say next isn’t going to be something he’ll like. “So what if we do? Don’t you want to know how cute Sehun sounds when-”

“Okay! That’s enough. I don’t want to know about the weird shit you get up to,” Baekhyun interrupts, promptly throwing his hands over his ears and talking loudly to drown out the rest of Jongin’s sentence. Sehun’s beet red in the face, biting his lip as he keeps his head down so no one will notice. Even though it’s not true (they’re not even dating, although Sehun _really_ wishes they were), he can’t help his reaction, the embarrassment like an old friend that comes and wraps him in a hug at the most inopportune times.

A yelp escapes his lips when he suddenly feels weight around his shoulders. Jongin’s scent, part vanilla and all Jongin, envelops his senses, sending his body into overdrive. Sehun both loves and hates when Jongin’s so close, but he knows that the former outweighs the latter nine times out of ten.

“Are you sure? It’s most likely more interesting than what you do at home.” Sehun wonders, not for the first time, what the hell Jongin’s talking about. All of these innuendoes are completely useless, seeing as their sex life’s just as nonexistent as Baekhyun’s. Speaking of, how does Jongin even know about Baekhyun’s life at home? For a split second, he imagines Baekhyun spread out on his bed, but that’s as far as it gets, the image much too heinous for him to handle. Sehun shudders and he can see Jongin looking at him from his peripheral vision but ignores it, focusing on not barfing up what little of lunch he’s eaten.

“Oh, you have no idea what I would like to do at home,” Baekhyun mutters lowly, but unfortunately loud enough for Sehun to hear. Sehun tries his best not to gag, but it’s getting increasingly harder as time goes by.

“Let’s just stop before I get some kind of disease from listening to this disgusting conversation. It’s possible with you two.” Sehun grimaces, looking over at Jongin and Baekhyun respectively, although his eyes linger on Jongin for slightly longer. He hopes no one notices.

“Please,” Kyungsoo adds, his deep voice announcing the word clearly. Sehun cheers internally; Baekhyun’s complacent whenever Kyungsoo puts his foot down.

Neither boys say anything, so Sehun takes it as a sign that the conversation’s over. He breathes a sigh of relief, but a hot puff of air on his neck serves as another problem. Yelping in a very manly way, he turns and locks eyes with a smirking Jongin. This time, it _does_ serve to turn him into a human puddle, his insides turning into goo, brain shutting down. The still-present warmth around his shoulders only makes everything worse.

Jongin’s speaking, but Sehun hears nothing, too caught up in the way his plump lips are moving, occasionally meeting only to pull apart. It’s like a spell, one that he could easily get lost in forever.

He only snaps out of it when Jongin’s lips stay still, no longer hints of white teeth showing through. “What?” he asks dumbly, wincing slightly when he realizes how blatantly he must have been staring.

Jongin looks at him as if he’s grown another head. “I said that I’ll be a little late after school. I have to drop off some papers at the main office.”

“Oh, okay.” And the award for the world’s most eloquent speaker goes to Oh Sehun. He hopes that a hole will magically appear in the floor in the next few seconds so he can jump in it and never come out. Thankfully, Jongin has known him for years now and is used to his lack of ability to communicate like a normal human being. It’s another one of the reasons that Sehun likes Jongin; if he can deal with his stupidity, then he’s perfect and amazing and every nice adjective out there. Jongin just smiles at Sehun before turning back to his lunch.

Sehun tries to convince himself that the pretty curve of Jongin’s lips doesn’t cause him to want to grow wings and fly out of happiness.

He fails.

 

Sehun hates Wednesday the most. A lot of people would say that Monday is the worst days if asked, but Sehun resents Wednesday with a passion equivalent to Baekhyun’s love of tight pants. The day seems harmless enough on a calendar, but Sehun hates the middle of the week. It’s the peak in the school week, the highest point that he barely reaches half of the time. Between dealing with Jongin’s cuteness, Baekhyun’s stupidity, and Kyungsoo’s...well Sehun doesn’t really think there’s anything wrong with Kyungsoo, but he’s still on the list. Regardless, he wishes, not for the first time, that the day would just obliterate itself and never be heard of again.

He thinks this exact thought when he hazards a quick glance at the screen of his phone after turning the alarm off. Groaning, he goes through his daily routine, if only to get through the day on a good note. The last thing he wants to do is be late because despite his flippant attitude towards most things that aren’t Jongin, his friends, and more Jongin, he’s actually a good student. Most people assume that because he dyes his hair every color of the rainbow (and the actual rainbow that one time. Baekhyun never lets him forget it) that he’s some scene kid more interested in other “extracurricular activities” that involve sneaking around and hanging out behind brick walls to take a drag. The surprised faces they make when they see Sehun’s name in the top five of the school are always priceless.

A coffee cup is thrust into his hands the second he walks through the gate and he clutches it like it has all of the answers to life’s problems.

“Thanks Jongin.” Sehun sighs in satisfaction when the first drop hits his tongue, the rich taste diffusing along his taste buds and creating glorious fireworks.

“It’s not just for you. I hate dealing with you when you’re cranky, and considering it’s a Wednesday, I didn’t want to take any chances.”

“You always get me coffee, you prick.” Sehun huffs, glancing at his friend over the top of the cup.

“I’m still not sure why I spend so much money on you, either,” Jongin muses. He’s tapping his chin in thought, looking out into the distance. Sehun snorts. Jongin’s so lame sometimes that Sehun wonders why he even likes him so much in the first place.

“Just kidding,” Jongin says with a grin. And Sehun’s reminded of why he does. Those eyes crinkled up in pure happiness are one of the many, many things that Sehun loves about Jongin. Seeing Jongin’s eye smile never fails to make him feel giddy, his own lips curling up at the corners. Sehun’s not trying to brag or anything, but he hears he has a pretty fantastic eye smile. It’s not like it matters, though, because what those girls think is irrelevant when the only person he wants to think that doesn’t.

“You better be kidding,” Sehun mutters, turning away in hopes that Jongin won’t see his red cheeks. It’s barely the beginning of Spring, and it’s not even that hot, so he can’t even blame the weather if Jongin happens to see.

“You know, had I not been your friend for so long, I would be disturbed by the amount of coffee you drink. A cup a day can’t be good for you,” Jongin nags.

“Some people are worse, so you can stop worrying your pretty little head over it,” Sehun replies. He’s not lying either - he knows people that drink a minimum of four cups daily, so he figures that he’ll be fine with his one singular cup.

“I pity the people that have to kiss you in the future.”

Sehun sends Jongin his infamous stoic face despite the fact that this heart starts to pick up speed. “Wouldn’t you like to be one of those people.”

Jongin balks at him. “That was _one time_.”

“Well it worked.” He smirks at Jongin, wondering where the sudden confidence comes from. Sehun’s not usually so bold with his words, especially not with Jongin. He decides that it doesn’t matter because Jongin’s cheeks are such a pretty shade of pink and he can’t take his eyes away from the sight. Sehun’s always thought that Jongin looks the best in various shades of red, whether it be red shoes, red shirts, or red cheeks.

“Shut up,” Jongin whines, half heartedly swatting at Sehun’s arm. He yelps, jumping back quickly before his coffee can get swiped to the floor. Narrowing his eyes, Sehun cradles the cup to his chest while Jongin looks on with amusement, his embarrassment gone.

“Why am I your friend?” Jongin asks with a tilt of the lips.

“I wish that you weren’t,” is what Sehun wants to say, but he sticks with, “Because I’m awesome,” instead. The ache in his heart doesn’t go away once they’re in their first class. The teacher’s droning on about Physics, but all Sehun thinks about is the way his heart yearns for Jongin to realize how much better they would be as more.

 

Sehun’s not really sure when he knew his feelings were more than platonic, although there’s an instance where it likely started.

Jongin and Sehun were fifteen, two years into their friendship, but it was still as strong then as it is now. The sun was high up in the sky and they were lounging in Sehun’s room. Regardless of the air conditioner being on full blast, they were still sweating, having just come in from skateboarding outside.

“Do you want some ice cream?” Sehun asked, looking over and at his friend. Jongin was on his back, spread out on Sehun’s bed, his black tank top riding up slightly to show a sliver of his flat stomach. Although Sehun was used to seeing his friend in various states of undress (it was summer, going shirtless was the best option), it still stirred something up inside him and he wasn’t sure what it was.

Jongin groaned. “That means I have to get up, though.”

Snorting, Sehun walked over to the bed to poke Jongin in the stomach. Jongin wheezed, eyes flying open to glare at his friend. Sehun just snickered in response.

“No, stupid. I was going to go get it,” Sehun said.

Jongin’s mouth was round as a look of understanding crossed his features. He huffed as he closed his eyes again. “No, it’s not worth it. Just stay here with me.”

“Just lying down is boring, though,” Sehun replied, but he crawled up on the bed and flopped down next to Jongin anyways.

“It’s too hot to do anything else,” Jongin whined, shifting to try and get into a comfortable position. All it did was cause Jongin’s shirt to ride up even more, revealing skin from his belly button down to a little below his pelvis where his shorts were riding low. Sehun gulped, turning away from the sight.

“I would rather do something and be sweaty than die of boredom.”

Jongin was quiet and Sehun was about to snort, because of course Jongin would just fall asleep like that, when he said something that caused Sehun to freeze.

“Can I kiss you?”

“What?” Sehun sputtered, wondering if he heard that right or if his mind was playing tricks on him. Sehun had known that he was gay for a few years, having honestly accepted it only a year ago, although he hadn’t told anyone but the people he absolutely trusted. His parents had been accepting, which was a huge relief for Sehun - he didn’t know what he would do if his parents had said something nasty or kicked him out.

“Can I kiss you?” Jongin repeated. When Sehun looked at him, he was met with an intense stare.

There were a million thoughts and questions running around his head, the most prevalent being why, but all that he managed to say was, “Uhhh.”

Jongin must have taken that as affirmation because he was slowly leaning closer. Sehun just about went cross-eyed trying to keep his gaze on Jongin, anything to try and distract him from what was about to happen. He would be lying if he said that he didn’t think about kissing Jongin’s plump lips before, but he always squashed it before it could become anything more than a fleeting thought. Jongin was his friend, a straight one at that, so it would do no good to think such things. Apparently, Jongin wasn’t as straight as Sehun had originally thought.

Before his train of thought could go any further, there was a soft pressure on his mouth. Sehun’s eyes were wide open as they stared at Jongin’s closed ones and he registered that the socially acceptable thing was to close his eyes, so he did, but he had no idea what to do after that. His first kiss was being stolen right from him, but he couldn’t find it in himself to complain. If he were to lose it to anyone, he didn’t think that Jongin was a bad choice.

All too soon, cold air replaced the warmth of Jongin’s lips. Sehun opened his eyes slowly, afraid of what he was going to find on Jongin’s face. If he saw disgust, he wasn’t sure that he would be able to hold his tears back. To his relief, he just found curiosity, as if Jongin wasn’t sure what had just happened even though he had been the one who suggested it in the first place.

“Why did you...” Sehun trailed off, licking his lips. His cheeks were hot, but he knew deep down that it had nothing to do with the heat.

“I wanted to see something,” Jongin replied, as if that was a perfectly acceptable reason as to why he decided to make Sehun’s world explode in an array of colors.

“So I’m just an experiment?” Nervousness was replaced by something else, something extremely bitter. Sehun knew that he shouldn’t have thought anything of it.

“No, of course not!” Jongin stared at him in a way that indicated he was hurt Sehun would even think such a terrible thing. “It’s just that you’re the only person that I’m comfortable enough with to ask.”

Sehun let out a puff of air he didn’t even know was stuck in his throat. It was such a relief to hear that he wasn’t just a lab rat that Jongin want to poke and prod; Sehun didn’t think his heart would be able to take the fact that that’s all he was to his best friend. He didn’t understand where the sudden rush of anger, but more so want, was coming from, and it scared him a little more than a lot, but with Jongin’s sincere, almost kicked puppy expression, the anger didn’t stay long.

The want, though, the want would stay for years.

 

“Well hello, Mr. Grumpy Pants. To what do we owe the pleasure of seeing your ugly, frowny face this fine lunch period?”

Sehun sits down with a sigh, rubbing his temples likes he’s wont to do when Baekhyun’s around. “Please, Baekhyun, not today.”

“Oh.” Baekhyun’s voice is much softer this time and Sehun doesn’t have to look up to know that there’s a look of understanding on Baekhyun’s usually wicked features.

Kyungsoo grabs his hand and gives it a quick squeeze and it’s all that Sehun needs to have his limbs relaxing from the tight ball of tension they were moments prior. Sending Kyungsoo a small smile, he starts eating lunch in the unusually silent atmosphere, if only for something to do.

“You know,” Baekhyun starts again and Sehun barely holds back a snort - of course he would be the one to break the quiet blanket surrounding them in a warm cocoon. “It would just be better if you, I don’t know, said something to him.”

Sehun fixes his friend with a stare and Baekhyun shrinks back a little but he wouldn’t be Byun Baekhyun if he didn’t push on. “Sulking doesn’t do you any good and you know it. Don’t just sit on the sidelines. I know that you just want to be by his side, but you’re killing yourself by not trying for more.”

Sehun _wants_ more, so, so much more that he’s not sure Jongin would be able to handle all of the love that he holds. He’s not entirely sure as to how he hasn’t burst at the seams from all of the love that he has in his body for a certain male, but Sehun’s not going to question it. Sehun likes living, thank you (but he still likes Jongin even more).

Sehun just chooses to respond with a soft, “I know,” looking up to give Baekhyun a genuine smile, something that doesn’t happen very often when Baekhyun’s involved. Sehun can see Kyungsoo looking between the two of them with a confused expression, but if Baekhyun has kept his secret, he’ll definitely keep Baekhyun’s.

“So get your ass up and do something about it!” Baekhyun shouts. Sehun laughs, happy that things have gone back to normal. It’s weird seeing Baekhyun so serious, but Sehun appreciates it anyways.

“What are you getting up and doing?” Jongin asks, sitting across from Sehun.

“I don’t even know what’s going on and I’ve been sitting here for the whole conversation,” Kyungsoo lies. Sehun doesn’t like leaving Jongin out of things, and it doesn’t happen often, if at all, but some things are best kept as secrets. In his head, Sehun sends Kyungsoo a thousand hugs for being such an angel, for playing along to make sure that Jongin doesn’t suspect anything.

Jongin squints like he’s not sure, but then he shrugs, probably chalking it up to just being something weird that Baekhyun normally says.

Sehun sends Kyungsoo a grin when Jongin starts to inhale his meal. Kyungsoo just sends a wink back.

 

Jongin and Sehun walk to Sehun’s house after school, the premise being doing homework, but they both know that won’t be happening for more than a maximum of two hours.

“Just get whatever you want from the fridge,” Sehun says as he makes his way up to his room.

“Do you even have to say that? I was going to do it anyways,” Jongin calls and Sehun rolls his eyes.

“At least get me a drink while you’re there,” Sehun yells and knows that Jongin can hear him; they do it almost every time they’re at Sehun’s house. He’s not really sure when the routine started (since he could’ve just said it when he was downstairs), but he likes the idea of Jongin looking out for his voice, no matter the distance.

Sehun’s laptop is just whirring its way to life when Jongin saunters through the door like it’s his own house. Sehun supposes it might as well be, seeing as he’s always over. It’s not like Sehun minds. Spending time with Jongin makes him happy, vibrating with joy whenever their arms touch or Jongin smiles. Sehun knows he sounds like a middle school girl with a crush (something that Baekhyun had pointed out to him once; Sehun stopped talking to him for a few hours before Baekhyun’s whining became too much), but he can’t really help it. Jongin just makes him so happy that his sappy side comes out and takes hold of his mind.

“For you, princess.” Jongin bows before placing the can of soda in the dip that Sehun’s body creates on the mattress. He hisses from the sudden cold spot on his thigh, but he’ll take that over Jongin throwing the can any day. The last time that happened, he had to take three showers to get rid of the sugar stuck in his hair, the can popping open when Sehun had ducked out of instinct and it hit the headboard. He made Jongin do the laundry and replace his bed sheets, saying that it was only fair since it was his fault. Jongin had whined, but Sehun threw an icy glare at him and that was enough to shut him up.

“Why thank you, my prince,” Sehun responds sarcastically, scooting over to let Jongin plop down next to him.

“Anything for my princess.”

“Okay, stop there before I shove you off of my bed.”

Sehun can practically see Jongin’s eyebrows wiggling. “You sure about that?”

He doesn’t even bother giving a response, instead opening up Word, his creative writing assignment staring back at him. He’s nearly finished, but he’s been stuck on this one part for a while and it’s annoying him. Why is it that whenever he wants to say something, all that comes out is nothing?

“You better start on some homework. Don’t think that kicking you off only applies to the princess thing,” Sehun says easily, mouthing the previous paragraphs to try and get back into the feel of his writing. Getting past writer’s block is hard enough, but it’s downright impossible when there’s a Jongin shaped lump sharing his space and giving off more than enough body heat to make him dizzy.

“Or what? I could just climb back up and cling to you,” Jongin drawls, but he gets out his homework nonetheless. The steady beat of him tapping his pencil on his binder fills the silence that Sehun’s keyboard fails to do, Sehun’s brain still coming up blank. He knows that the person next to him could give him a plethora of inspiration, considering the topic is affection, but Sehun just feels wrong when he thinks about writing about Jongin. It isn’t that Jongin hadn’t been the first thing to come to mind when Sehun heard what the assignment was (he was), but there was no way he would be able to get himself to do it. Jongin has the same teacher, just a different period, and Sehun shudders to think what would happen if he wrote about caramel skin and plump lips. Sure, he could make it out to be that he’s talking about a girl if someone asked, but he doesn’t like lying, especially to himself.

“Need some help there? You seem a little lost,” Jongin teases, taking a peek at the screen. Sehun thanks the heavens that he decided not to write about Jongin. How embarrassing would it be if Jongin reads descriptions about himself and not know it’s him Sehun’s really talking about?

Turning to look at Jongin instead of the blinking cursor that’s practically laughing at him, Sehun gets caught in Jongin’s spell yet again. Jongin isn’t even doing anything, yet he’s doing everything. It’s always been like this, Jongin taking bits and pieces of Sehun’s heart as if he’s taking food from a friend. They just keep taking and taking until there’s nothing left and you should feel empty because your food is stolen, but you feel so full because someone special took it from you and making them happy outweighs your happiness. These are the only times where Jongin’s selfish, and he doesn’t even know that he’s doing it.

Taking in the smooth curve of Jongin’s jaw, the concentrated narrowing of his eyes, and the downturn of his lips, Sehun finds his inspiration. He finds it in the feelings that he gets when he says he found what he’s looking for and Jongin beams up at him before going back to his own work. Although Sehun didn’t want to write about his best friend, he supposes that it’s okay, if the warmth curling in his belly from the beautiful smile Jongin sent him is any indication. The comfort that Jongin gives when they’re huddled together, watching a movie on Sehun’s laptop the latter doesn’t even pay attention to later in the evening, isn’t so bad either.

It’s only a week later when everything goes to hell. Sehun’s happy, a spring in his step after turning in his creative writing assignment. It’s not often that Sehun’s happy on a Wednesday, but he takes it while he can. Everyone can have good days, right?

Lunch is just starting and Sehun’s swapping books out of his locker. He hears his name over the chatter in the hallways, looking up and over the crowd to see fluffy brown hair heading straight in his direction. Jongin flounces over with a bright smile, one that threatens to have Sehun’s lips opening and telling him just how much that smile does to him. He keeps it in, though, trained after years of hiding what he feels. A cheerful greeting’s just on the tip of his tongue when his face crumples, dejection shooting through his body like a poisonous arrow, hitting his heart and spreading out to the tips of his toes and the roots of his bleached hair.

“What?” Sehun asks dumbly, hoping that he heard wrong.

Jongin doesn’t even notice the lost expression on his best friend’s face. “Yooyoung and I are dating!”

Jongin continues with the story of how it all happened, grin still plastered on his handsome face, but Sehun can’t hear anything besides the shattering of his own heart and the ringing in his ears.

Sehun wonders if it can be called heartbreak when they weren’t even dating in the first place.

The sharp pain in his chest where his heart lays says _yes_.

“That...that’s great. Good for you, man.” Except that’s the last thing on Sehun’s mind.

“Thanks, and you know-”

“Actually, I’m going to get lunch now. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo are probably wondering where I am. I’ll tell them that you won’t be joining us today.” And as much as it pains him to do so, Sehun sends Jongin a grin, hoping that Jongin doesn’t see how utterly non-genuine it is. Thankfully, he doesn’t, instead sending Sehun an appreciative tilt of the lips and a, “Thanks, I owe you one!” before turning and heading down the hallway.

Sehun’s body is on autopilot and he doesn’t know how he manages to make it to the table unscathed, but he doesn’t let the thought linger for long.

“Sehun?” Kyungsoo questions when Sehun sits down, eyebrows furrowed in concern. Even Baekhyun’s looking him over, a frown on his face. Sehun can only imagine what he looks like right now, the perfect embodiment of a robot, but with pale skin instead of gray metal.

“Jongin’s dating Yooyoung.” Sehun’s voice sounds hollow even to his own ears.

“He’s WHAT?!” Baekhyun screeches, not even giving two shits about the glares that he receives from people nearby.

“Yeah, he just...told me while I was at my locker,” Sehun says. He _knew_ that he hated Wednesdays for a reason.

“Oh, Sehun,” Kyungsoo starts, but Sehun doesn’t want his pity.

Sehun’s smile is tight as he looks down at his tray, wondering why he even got food in the first place when he knows he won’t be able to eat anything. “It’s okay, hyung. He can date who he wants, right?”

Baekhyun’s frowning. “I didn’t even know that he was interested in her.”

And that’s the part that eats at Sehun the most because he didn’t know either. He’s Jongin’s best friend and they share everything (well maybe not everything in Sehun’s case) so his already broken heart breaks just a little more knowing that Jongin didn’t bother to tell Sehun anything. He supposes it’s only fair seeing as Sehun doesn’t tell him many things either, but what’s there to tell? _Oh, hey, I happen to think you’re really attractive and I mean that in the least platonic way possible?_ Sehun would rather live in Alaska for the rest of his life and he doesn’t even speak English or like the cold.

Silence falls over the table, Sehun pushing his food around. Kyungsoo and Baekhyun try to distract him, but it doesn’t work very well, Sehun responding with one word or nothing at all, too wrapped up in his own thoughts.

It’s a miracle Sehun manages to hear the bell ring, but he does. Before he can walk away, Kyungsoo catches his arm.

“Don’t be too sad, okay? Everything will work out,” he says and Sehun appreciates the effort, but he can’t quite believe that at the moment. He responds with an affirmative, though, if only to placate Kyungsoo a little bit.

If possible, things only get worse after that. Sehun doesn’t think that he’s one of those people who harbor irrational hate towards the significant other of their own crush, but even if he was, it would be impossible to hate Yooyoung. She’s the perfect height for Jongin, easily slipping under his arm as they’re walking, unlike Sehun’s lanky, just as tall form. She’s cute, her cheeks still slightly chubby in a way that most of the girls at their school would screech and cry over. She’s funny and nice and there’s no way that Sehun would ever be able to hate her. It seems like such a crime, hating someone that has done absolutely nothing to him and he even manages to laugh at one of her jokes the next day at lunch. It doesn’t make the tight coil in his stomach feel any better, though. If anything, Sehun feels like he’s going to puke any moment.

Baekhyun seems to notice Sehun’s doom and gloom expression, trying throughout the whole lunch period to get him to talk, but Sehun just can’t. He’s still sensitive from the news and everything feels wrong. Baekhyun eventually settles with placing a hand on his thigh and squeezing, one of the rare moments where he shows some sympathy.

It had been hard, watching Jongin traipse over to their table with Yooyoung in tow earlier, smile bright as he introduced her as his girlfriend. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo had looked at Sehun quickly, but Jongin was too busy cooing, telling Yooyoung to be careful as she sat down to notice and Sehun was too busy looking everywhere but at them.

It’s even harder to see them walk away hand in hand after lunch, chatting and laughing like they’re in their own world. Sehun doesn’t know why, but it feels like their table isn’t the only thing Jongin’s walking away from.

 

Over the next few weeks, Sehun barely catches glimpses of Jongin without Yooyoung next to him. Everyday, Sehun walks home alone, the spot next to him feeling so cold and empty. There’s no one to distract him from his homework, no one to raid through his fridge and bring up a soda for him, no one to beat in video games. There’s no one and Sehun hasn’t felt this alone in years despite the fact that he has his parents, Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo to talk to if he wanted to.

It gets harder to seem cheerful, especially when Jongin coos at Yooyoung during lunch before handing her a napkin to wipe the sauce on her face off. She ducks her head with a bashful smile, the kind that’s all teeth and sparkly eyes, and Sehun feels nauseous. The feeling has been constant ever since Jongin announced his relationship and Sehun’s sick of feeling sick.

Yet despite it all, Sehun can’t help but notice just how great a boyfriend Jongin is. He’s attentive, he’s caring, he’s considerate – anything and everything that girls (and Sehun) would want. Sehun may act tough sometimes, but there are other times where he simply wants to be taken care of. He loves the relationship he has with Jongin, loves all of the teasing and banter, and he wouldn’t trade it for the world (except upgrade it to being boyfriends instead of just friends). There are just times where he can’t help the fluttering of his heart when he notices how sweet Jongin can be and that makes it even harder because it’s not directed at him.

Yooyoung giggles at something Jongin whispers in her ear and Sehun can’t take it anymore. He’s trying, he’s trying so hard to be happy for Jongin, but there’s only so much his fractured heart can take.

There are multiple calls of his name as he walks away from the table, but he ignores them in favor of leaving the cafeteria. He needs to be alone, needs a place to clear his head, so he goes to the only place that he knows will help him.

The floor is cold when he slides down the wall near the library that nobody goes to, but he barely feels anything. The nausea rolling around in his stomach is too much of a distraction and, unlike the pain, he can easily get up and get rid of the cold if he wanted to. As long as he’s around Jongin and Yooyoung – hell, even if he’s away from them - he’ll always feel the tumbling of his stomach.

Footsteps sound from down the hall, Sehun closing his eyes and praying that, for the first time in the history of the four years Sehun’s been at this school, someone’s actually going to the library.

“Sehun, what the hell? Why did you just run off like that?”

Of course, it’s just his luck that someone followed him, even better that that someone is Jongin. He can’t help his heart, though, the poor organ beating a mile a minute at the fact that Jongin came after him.

“Nothing, just leave me alone,” Sehun mumbles. It’s quiet, but Sehun doesn’t need to hear, is so attuned to Jongin that he can feel someone sit next to him and can smell Jongin as he gets closer. Sometimes, it really sucks how well he knows Jongin.

“You don’t look okay. Something has been bothering you for a while now.”

And of course Jongin knows him just as well without him having to say anything, of course. Sehun laughs, but it’s mirthless.

“Hun?”

Sehun sighs before opening his eyes. Jongin’s eyebrows are furrowed, a line appearing on his forehead when he wrinkles his face too far. His eyes are soft, probably the softest Sehun has ever seen them (second only to when Jongin sees a dog) and it’s too much. Sehun breaks the eye contact before he says something stupid, like how much he loves Jongin’s eyes or equally as sappy shit.

“I promise that I’m fine.” Or as fine as he can get in the current portion of his life – heartbreak.

Jongin doesn’t seem to believe him, so Sehun flicks him on the forehead with another assurance, smiling when Jongin whines in pain and brings hands up to the injured area with a pout.

“There we go! That’s the first time you’ve smiled in days,” Jongin proclaims. Sehun hadn’t realized it had been that long, even more surprised that Jongin had noticed.

Jongin pokes him in the cheek before he can even think of a response and says, “Don’t be sad. It makes me sad.”

And how is Sehun supposed to respond to that without feeling all fuzzy and warm inside? It’s disgusting, he knows, but at least he’s the only one that knows. This way he can keep his stoic image because he’s not Oh Sehun if he doesn’t have at least that going for him.

Sehun shoves Jongin over in an effort to hide his red cheeks, laughing when Jongin sputters and flails. “Don’t be sappy and gross.” That’s Sehun’s job (not that Jongin knows) and he can’t have it.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jongin says, but he’s smiling and that’s enough for Sehun to forget about his heartache, if only for a little while.

 

Sehun falls in love like a leaf falls from a tree in Fall - effortlessly, smoothly, but never quite reaching the ground because then that would be the end. Hitting the ground means that his journey’s over, but Sehun never wants it to be over. He wants to be able to map out the lines of Jongin’s body, trace over every vein, every surface that he can find and imprint it in his mind forever. He wants to be able to see Jongin’s eyes sparkle in happiness, see the way his pretty lips curve up at the corners and know that he’s the reason for it. He wants to wake up every morning to sleepy smiles and messy mocha hair. He wants to give Jongin the world, but even then, it wouldn’t be over. Loving Kim Jongin will be Sehun’s lifelong journey; he just hopes and prays that he’ll be given the chance to start.

It’s thoughts like these that keep Sehun awake at night every so often. It’s like poison, starting off seemingly innocent and then quickly turning tragic. Because once he thinks those thoughts, he thinks about how Yooyoung gets to do and see all of those things. She probably gets millions of pictures of Jongin’s three dogs that Sehun used to get, she probably gets to fix his hair in the morning before they come to school together hand in hand, she probably gets to talk to him until they fall asleep, only to laugh when they wake up and find that their phone is dead from the ongoing all night call.

Today’s one of those days. Jongin and Yooyoung have been together for at least three months now and while it’s easier to act stoic around them, his heart still beats with a bandaid over it to keep it from falling apart. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo still notice and they’ve tried taking him out for lunch or a snack after school. Sehun appreciates it, he really does, but he goes from feeling like his lungs are too small to feeling like a third wheel even though he really shouldn’t. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo aren’t even together so they don’t act like a disgusting couple, but Sehun sees the way Baekhyun looks at Kyungsoo sometimes and it makes him want to gag. It’s different from when he sees Jongin and Yooyoung, but there’s still the undeniable lurching of his stomach, one he teases Baekhyun for just to see his usual confident ego fall apart into a blushing mess.

It’s almost two in the morning and Sehun’s still not asleep, plagued with thoughts of what could be. He really needs to stop letting this happen, but it’s difficult when his defenses are down and he’s weak from the tendrils of sleep clinging to him, but not tight enough to bring him under.

The lack of sleep is probably the reason that Sehun barely stumbles his way through the day, plopping down at the lunch table with his food that he won’t eat.

“Do I even want to know what you were up to last night?” Baekhyun wonders and Sehun doesn’t even have to look to know that there’s a dumb smirk on his face. He could hear the suggestive nature in Baekhyun’s tone from a mile away.

The telltale sign of someone being slapped meets Sehun’s ears, a grin appearing on his face when Baekhyun whines.

“That’s what you get for being gross,” Kyungsoo says. Baekhyun continues to whine theatrically, proclaiming that he’s never going to be able to feel better until Kyungsoo presses his wonderful lips against the sting. It merely earns him another slap.

“Awful,” Baekhyun mutters.

“It’s only the best for you,” Kyungsoo responds.

Sleepiness overcomes Sehun, then, but he’s alert enough when Baekhyun loudly whispers, “Why isn’t Yooyoung with Jongin?”

That gets him springing up with a shot of energy he hasn’t had since he was about twelve. True enough, Jongin’s making his way over to their table alone. Yooyoung isn’t attached to him, Jongin’s hands free except for the tray full of food in one of them.

“Hey,” Jongin greets as he slides in next to Sehun. The three of them can only stare, Sehun’s brain trying and trying to get dust the cobwebs away so he can process the image in front of him.

Kyungsoo’s the first one to break the silence. “Does Yooyoung have something to do today?”

“Ah,” Jongin says. He’s moving a little slower today and his face seems slightly downcast, but other than that, he doesn’t look any different. “We’re not, um, dating anymore.”

“What?” Baekhyun shrieks before Sehun even has time to fully run the sentence through his head and confirm that Jongin indeed said what Sehun thinks he said.

Jongin shrugs. “Yeah, we ended it yesterday. It wasn’t working out.”

They were so cute together, though. Sehun can’t even fathom them breaking up despite his selfish wishes because it had seemed they were almost disgustingly perfect together.

Sehun knows that he shouldn’t be happy about the news, but he’s fucking ecstatic. It’s not because he’s tired of hearing Jongin talk about her, but because this means that he gets his best friend back and that’s more important that anything to Sehun.

Sehun zones out for the rest of lunch and throughout the day. The school’s buzzing by the time the last bell rings, and Sehun’s tired of hearing girls whisper about how Jongin’s on the market again.

It comes as a surprise when he sees Jongin waiting for him at his locker. Sehun blinks, forcing his feet to move after his initial shock is gone.

“It’s been a while,” Sehun greets Jongin with, earning an eye roll.

“It hasn’t been that long,” Jongin defends. Sehun simply raises his eyebrows, Jongin huffing and sending his bangs flying. “It hasn’t.”

“Whatever makes you feel better.”

“Yah, don’t get smart with me.”

Sehun laughs. He finally has his best friend back and the feeling’s indescribable. “I wasn’t, I swear. I was merely pointing out an observation.”

“You science kids,” Jongin mutters.

“You literature kids,” Sehun shoots back. Jongin knocks him on the arm weakly, but Sehun clutches the spot with a pout like it seriously hurt.

“It didn’t hurt,” Jongin drawls before leading the way down the hallway once Sehun’s shut his locker.

“How would you know? You weren’t the one on the receiving end of it.”

Jongin snorts. “I just know.”

“That’s a terrible answer.”

“What did you want me to say?” Jongin wonders. “I must protect my princess, so I toned down my strength just for you!”

Sehun laughs. He laughs harder than he’s laughed in months at the way Jongin had pitched his voice and puffed his chest out. It’s so ridiculous and more than a few people have turned to look their way, Sehun’s laughter probably not helping any.

“I was going to be offended that you called me that stupid nickname again, but your facial expression was dumb enough to quell the anger,” Sehun manages to say through his laughter. He’s still chuckling to himself as they walk to his house, Jongin shaking his head every once in a while.

“It wasn’t that funny,” Jongin mutters, but that sets off another fit of laughter when Sehun thinks about it again.

It’s easy to fall back into the routine, almost like Jongin had never been gone at all. There’s still a part of Sehun that feels incomplete, but at large chunk of the hole in his heart is filled again.

Things are quiet, which is unusual for them since neither are doing homework despite having a few assignments to do.

Jongin’s fidgeting, Sehun zooning in on the motion of him picking and messing with the bottom of his shirt. It’s a nervous habit, one that Sehun’s only seen maybe twice in his life, so he knows that whatever Jongin’s holding back from saying is important. Sehun doesn’t push, simply links their hands together to offer comfort.

It takes a while, but Jongin eventually softly calls out, “Hun?”

“Yeah?”

“About Yooyoung...” Sehun barely resists the urge to flinch at the name, instead focusing on Jongin. He doesn’t seem broken up at all, hasn’t all day, more melancholy than anything, like it’s happened and now it’s over, as simple as that.

“I...I don’t feel like my world’s falling apart. Shouldn’t I at least feel like something’s missing?” Jongin wonders, but it’s like his mind is millions of miles away, tucking itself away with the stars in the sky.

Sehun doesn’t know. He’s never been in a serious relationship before, but he knows what it feels like to be missing a part of himself – Jongin’s had his heart for so long and he’s still trying to learn how to function properly.

“Yes,” Sehun answers honestly, “but if you don’t feel any kind of sadness, don’t you think that means something? If you were really serious about her, you would be a crying mess surrounded by empty cartons of ice cream and snotty tissues.”

Jongin shoves him with a laugh, Sehun listing over dramatically, but not so much that their hands separate. It’s nice seeing Jongin this close again, hearing Jongin laugh because of him again, feeling Jongin’s hand in his again.

They settle down again, Jongin absentmindedly prodding Sehun’s fingers as he sighs. “Honestly, though. We were together for three months and it feels like nothing ever happened.”

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Sehun says because he doesn’t. He’s never been good with words, neither of them have been.

Jongin sends him a small smile. “It’s okay, I didn’t think you would anyways. If you just listen, it will be enough.”

So Sehun does. Whatever Jongin says, Sehun listens with rapt attention. It’s interesting, just having Jongin back in his room after being alone for months now, but Sehun’s not going to complain. He’s especially not going to complain when Jongin finishes, looking sleepier than usual as he looks up at Sehun despite them being the same height.

“Nap?” Jongin mumbles, looking so damn _cute_ that Sehun wants to squish his cheeks.

He settles for nodding, not trusting his voice when presented with such an adorable sight. 

Face-to-face like this, Sehun honestly can’t help but think about how beautiful Jongin is. It’s some sort of illegal the way his lips part with each breath he takes and how peaceful he looks. Jongin usually looks sleepy, which is adorable in itself, but now that he’s actually almost sleeping, he’s much cuter.

“Go to sleep,” Jongin mumbles, Sehun flinching from the unexpected voice. How Jongin even knew that he was awake without opening his eyes is beyond Sehun.

With an exaggerated huff, Sehun forcibly closes his eyes, already missing the sight in front of him. Hopefully he’ll wake up before Jongin and get to stare at him a little longer, which isn’t creepy, not at all. It’s a good thing Baekhyun isn’t here or Sehun would never hear the end of it. But Baekhyun isn’t here. It’s only Sehun and Jongin, just the way it’s supposed to be.

 

Things get better almost drastically after that. It’s as if the doom and gloom cloud that was Oh Sehun for the last few months evaporates without leaving any trace behind. It’s great, having his best friend back, but more than that, it’s nice being around Jongin and only Jongin. Yooyoung was lovely, but there’s no denying how light Sehun feels now that he doesn’t have to see someone hanging off of Jongin all the time.

“Hey.”

Sehun grumbles as he pulls at his shirt. Summer’s rapidly approaching and if that wasn’t bad enough, there’s the wait for college applications to come through and the stress of getting everything in order for graduation. Neither of them are in trouble or in danger of failing, so graduation preparations will be a breeze, but still. Sehun’s mother won’t stop nagging at him to get everything done even when there isn’t anything _to_ be done. He loves her, he does, but she could at least nag at him at the proper time.

Jongin rolls his eyes as he nudges Sehun. “It’s not that hot, man.”

“It’s hot and I’m melting. Why the fuck do they think having school during these conditions is a good idea?” Sehun has practically melted into every chair he sat in today. The least they could do is put in a damn air conditioner, but most of the ones they do have are broken. He doesn’t deserve to be put through this brand of Hell.

“Okay, princess, let’s hurry home to your cool house then.”

Sehun swipes at Jongin, glaring when Jongin bounces away with a laugh. “Stop calling me that, seriously.”

Jongin doesn’t say anything, but his eyes are twinkling and Sehun just knows that he’s not going to let it go.

“Ass,” he mutters. Jongin takes that moment to bound up to him and cling onto Sehun’s arm. Sehun totally doesn’t blush, not at all. If anything, he can blame it on the heat for the sudden fluctuation in his internal and external heat levels. At least the weather can be good for something.

“But I’m _your_ ass,” Jongin sing-songs. Sehun ends up laughing so hard he has to clutch his stomach, feeling something stirring in his heart when he turns back and sees Jongin pouting. “What?”

“You’re most certainly _not_ my ass. For one, it’s a lot cuter than you are.”

Jongin’s jaw drops unattractively but he still manages to look attractive. Sehun wasn’t kidding when he called Jongin an ass, he just failed to add “attractive” in front. “I can’t believe you think your ass is cuter than me.”

“Have you seen it?” Sehun’s never been ashamed of his butt. How could he when it’s larger than average, certainly bigger than some of the girls that go to their school. In his opinion, the only thing better than his ass is his stomach, but they’re both pretty nice and he wouldn’t be adverse to someone (like, say, Jongin) worshipping them, not at all.

Jongin doesn’t respond, Sehun looking over in concern only to find Jongin looking very pointedly at his butt. Smirking, Sehun makes sure to turn this way and that, holding back a laugh when Jongin seems to snap out of it.

Coughing, Jongin runs a hand through his fluffy hair. “Yeah, I have.”

“Good,” Sehun says and even though that’s the end of the conversation, Jongin grumbling as he walks ahead, he doesn’t mind. It’s interesting how Jongin’s gaze had lingered. Not that Sehun really blames him, but still. If Sehun’s looking at things correctly, unhindered by his bias and hopes, Jongin had stared in a more than casual way. Sehun simply stores that information away for later, jogging to catch up with Jongin and slinging an arm around his neck.

“Where you do you think you’re going?” he asks. “We’re going to my house and without me, you can’t get in.”

Jongin scoffs, but doesn’t attempt to move away. Sehun considers it a victory. “I know where the spare key is. Hell, you even _gave_ me a key.”

Sehun blinks. “Oh yeah.”

Snorting, Jongin elbows Sehun softly in the ribs. “Idiot. I wouldn’t be surprised if you gave out keys to people and forgot about it within the hour. I hope there aren’t any serial killers out on the loose.”

“Please,” Sehun drawls. “I’m fairly certain you’re the only person I’ve given a key to. Besides, I would’ve had to ask my parents to go to the store to make the keys, so I’m pretty sure there aren’t any serial killers out there with my key hanging from their keychain or anything.”

“Well that’s good. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you or your face.”

“Is that so?” Sehun wonders with raised eyebrows. Jongin look straight ahead as he nods, but Sehun can see how his nose flares slightly and how his right eye twitches.

Smiling, Sehun makes sure to lean further against Jongin until he wheezes. “I know you couldn’t resist my face. Or the rest of me for that matter.”

“Don’t get cocky,” Jongin replies without another jab to Sehun’s ribs.

Sehun whines, rubbing his side with his free hand. “Stop jamming your sharp elbow into my delicate ribs. Although if you break something, you would have to pay for damages and do my homework for me, so I guess it’s not that bad.”

Jongin’s eyes pop open as he looks at Sehun. “What the hell? Don’t be dumb.”

“Think about how fun it could be, though,” Sehun refutes. “You would have to wait on me all night and day!” He’s joking, but the thought of Jongin taking care of him and bringing him food even if it’s only ramen (because that’s the only thing Jongin can make at least slightly well) has Sehun smiling.

“I already do that,” Jongin points out.

Sehun gasps like he’s scandalized. “Not even. We always go to my house, you always drink my drinks, you always snack on my snacks.” He gasps again. “You’re just using me aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Jongin deadpans. They’re quiet for all of two seconds before the both of them burst into laughter in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Ass,” Sehun says through laughter, lightly cuffing Jongin on the arm.

Still chuckling, Jongin weakly hits back. Eventually, the both of them straighten up, not even caring about all of the people that cursed at them as they passed by.

“But I’m-”

“Don’t,” Sehun cuts Jongin off with one last chuckle.

“Okay, okay,” Jongin responds with a smile.

The two of them naturally fall into step like nothing ever happened and they’re in front of Sehun’s house in no time at all. The routine’s easy from there, solidified after years and years of friendship. Sehun doesn’t even bother asking Jongin to bring him a drink this time.

Sehun’s just booting up his computer by the time Jongin walks through the door and plops down on Sehun’s left. The can of soda is cold against his cheek where Jongin purposely places it, Sehun yelping as Jongin laughs.

“You’re more awful than usual today,” Sehun grumbles.

“Only the best for you!” Jongin sing-songs.

Narrowing his eyes, Sehun fights through the blush quickly rising to his cheeks. “Can you at least be useful and turn on the air conditioner? You’re closer.”

Jongin huffs but rolls off the bed and pads over to the machine regardless. “You could just strip,” Jongin comments casually as he fiddles with the knobs, letting out a triumphant noise when the machine blasts to life.

Sehun’s too busy trying not to choke on his spit or turn an embarrassing shade of scarlet at the thought of Jongin’s torso coming into view as he takes his tank top off. Jongin’s done it before – multiple times in fact – and yet it gets worse for Sehun each time. Time’s supposed to heal all wounds, so why doesn’t it heal unlawful attraction to the way Jongin’s lean stomach glistens with sweat?

It doesn’t if the way Sehun’s mouth waters before drying up into a desert when Jongin lifts his arms to stretch, a sliver of his beautiful stomach peeking out, is anything to say about it. Sehun really hates life sometimes.

“We should watch a movie or play video games instead,” Jongin suggests just as he’s flopping back down on the bed.

Sehun moans. “Too hot, get away.”

If anything, Jongin wiggles closer until he’s basically flush against Sehun’s side. His tank top sticks to the sweat that’s accumulated on Sehun’s arms and his thigh presses to Sehun’s in the most uncomfortable of ways. He may like Jongin, but it’s too fucking hot for this. If he wanted a furnace, he would’ve asked Jongin to turn the heater on instead.

Squirming around, Sehun tries and tries to get away from Jongin but he’s stuck like a leech. And this is how Sehun’s going to die – from heat overload. He’s too young for this.

It takes a lot more whining and pushing, but Jongin _finally_ releases Sehun and starts his homework. Sehun can finally breathe again, but the sticky feeling doesn’t subside at all despite the cool air flowing throughout the room.

Groaning, Sehun throws a hand out in Jongin’s general direction, pleased with the grunt he receives when he makes contact. “That’s what you get for throwing my body into Hell with all of the heat you give off.”

“I’m going to remember this the next time you want to settle down for a nap or want a hug,” Jongin proclaims.

“You’re going to give in anyways,” Sehun counters.

Jongin only kicks him in the shin. “Shut up.”

Pleased, Sehun wiggles into a comfortable position before scrolling through Facebook. It’s not entertaining and he has homework to do but he doesn’t want to do it. There’s another creative writing assignment waiting for him, but he doesn’t want Jongin to look over and see what he’s typing. The prompt this time has to do with longing. Well, it was a picture of a wilting flower and Sehun had taken it as longing, as desperation, as waiting for something or someone that was never going to come. It’s more than a little depressing, but one of the reasons he took the class in the first place was to be able to write down his feelings uninhibited. He already knows what he’s going to write about, so it won’t be too difficult to finish whenever Jongin leaves.

There’s really nothing else for him to do, though. Nothing’s due tomorrow, his laziness increasing with every second that ticks by. Jongin doesn’t seem to be fairing much better, eyes blank as they look at the math textbook in front of him.

“Need help?” Sehun wonders. He’s not too bad at math – certainly not a genius, but not an idiot either. He _did_ get an A after all.

Jongin bites his lip before looking up at Sehun with a pleading look. “Please? I think I feel asleep for this lesson and you know that I can’t learn from the book at all.”

Chuckling, Sehun peeks over, his shoulder brushing against Jongin’s in the process. “You could’ve asked earlier. I bet you were staring at this problem for at least ten minutes now.”

Jongin flushes, but doesn’t deny it, Sehun flicking him in the head for being dumb.

“I didn’t want to bother you,” Jongin defends. It sounds more like a whine than anything and it certainly doesn’t help that he’s rubbing his forehead with a pout.

Focusing on the book in front of him instead of the cute guy next to him, Sehun manages to help Jongin with his homework.

“I practically did that all for you,” Sehun accuses as Jongin’s happily packing his stuff away two hours later.

Jongin beams and Sehun’s once again taken aback by how beautiful his smile is. “You’re the best.”

“No, I’m a pushover,” he mumbles.

“Aren’t those the same thing?”

“Hey!” Sehun cries. Jongin laughs his rare full-body laugh, his face lighting up and his voice going wonderfully deep. Everything about Jongin is a masterpiece and it’s unfair.

“See you tomorrow!” Jongin calls with a wave as he ambles down the sidewalk. Sehun waves back, sighing once Jongin’s back is out of view. One day, he tells himself. One day, he’ll hold Jongin’s hand as they walk home together.

For now, though, he’ll just have to count the days until it happens.

 

Disgustingly bright pink letters are one of the first things that greet Sehun when he walks into school on Wednesday. His mind immediately flashes to Tiffany, a preppy senior in Leadership who’s entirely obsessed with the color pink and with glitter. This poster has both in copious amounts; Sehun can feel his eyes starting to water the longer he stares at it.

Sehun reads it over despite the urge to tear his eyes away, a long sigh escaping his lips when he reads the date, time, and price for prom (the word prom is almost as big as the poster, with three different kinds of glitter layered over the pink cursive writing). He’s seen posters like this for four years now, but it’s entirely different now that he’s a senior. This not only means that the school is going to be disgustingly happy and gaudy with prom asks, but this also means that graduation’s coming up right around the corner and that also means that acceptance letters are going to start arriving any day now.

Someone drapes an arm around his shoulders in the middle of his inner turmoil, Sehun almost jumping right out of his skin.

“Fuck, don’t sneak up on me like that!” Sehun exclaims, the beating of his heart half due to the scare and half due to Jongin himself.

“You going?” Jongin asks, jerking his chin forward at the poster.

Jongin’s the only person he would want to go with, but he doesn’t dare entertain the idea. “Nah.”

“Oh, come on, man. It’s prom. You have to go to your senior prom.”

Sehun raises an eyebrow. “Where does it say that? Is it some universal law that everyone has to go to prom?”

“Yes,” Jongin answers, surprisingly serious.

“Uh,” Sehun says intelligently. He hadn’t expected Jongin to be so adamant about it. There are only three things that Jongin feels strongly about – dogs, chicken, and sleeping, with the rare love of dancing, but he hasn’t done that in a few years. Sehun likes to think that he’s at least somewhere in Jongin’s heart, but he has too much love for other things; there probably isn’t much room for him.

Jongin only shakes his head before chattering about something else, somehow shoving a coffee into Sehun’s hand as they walk to their first class of the day.

It’s lunch now and Sehun thinks he’s in the clear, as Jongin hasn’t said another word about it at all.

He’s wrong.

Kyungsoo and Sehun are in the middle of a conversation when Jongin comes bouncing over, not even bothering to put his tray down before announcing, “Sehun’s not going to prom.”

Sehun hisses and Baekhyun pounces, screeching, “You’re not?!”

“Baekhyun, please,” Kyungsoo grumbles as he brings his hands up to rub at his temples. “Keep the falsetto to a minimum today.”

Baekhyun pays him no mind, but that’s not surprising. “Sehun,” Baekhyun says, tone low. It sounds like a reprimand, but Sehun hasn’t even done anything wrong. “Sehun, don’t do this to me.”

“Do what to you?” Sehun cries. “It’s not like I was going to go with you anyways.”

“Your loss,” Baekhyun replies flippantly before pouncing a second time. “Seriously, though. You’re going. Don’t be stupid.”

“I’m not?”

“You are,” Baekhyun says and it sounds so matter-of-fact that Sehun briefly feels that yes, yes he _is_ going which is utterly ridiculous.

“Why aren’t you going?” Kyungsoo questions. Sehun breathes out a sigh of relief. At least one of them is sensible enough to ask about his side of things.

“It doesn’t seem interesting? There’s no one I like enough to spend hundreds of dollars on for a tickets, a suit, hair, and whatever else my mom thinks I’m going to need to put on my face.” It’s a lie, a very blatant one at that, but the only person that needs to know that it’s a lie doesn’t.

Baekhyun growls, narrowing his eyes at Sehun. “You’re going to make me do it, aren’t you?”

Sehun doesn’t want to know, but he finds himself asking, “Do what?” anyways.

It’s a mistake, just another one on the long list of Mistakes Made Around Byun Baekhyun. Now Baekhyun has a predatory glint in his eyes, a smile forming on his face that would look cute to anyone else, or at least to anyone that doesn’t know Baekhyun at all. Sehun can practically see Baekhyun’s tail swishing, just waiting to pounce for a third damn time. “Well, show up at your house and do your hair and makeup for you, of course.”

Sehun closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “No, Baekhyun.”

“Think about it!” Sehun doesn’t even have to look to know that Baekhyun’s getting excited and if he has any hope of shooting Baekhyun down, _now_ would be the time to say something.

“Baekhyun,” Sehun calls, disregarding the affronted noise Baekhyun typically lets out for not being called ‘Baekhyun hyung.’ “Honestly, nothing you’ll say is going to change my mind. I would rather sleep or watch a movie than dress up for a few hours and impress a date that I don’t even care about.”

Baekhyun frowns, opening his mouth to say something, but Kyungsoo slaps a hand over his mouth. “Don’t be a dick. Let him do what he wants.” He turns to Sehun with a smile. “I support your decision. Maybe I can join you,” he adds with a laugh.

Baekhyun looks extremely upset now, eyes widening to the size of the moon as he glances at Kyungsoo. It’s almost torture when he looks at Sehun with pleading eyes.

Before he knows it, Sehun’s saying, “No, at least three of us should enjoy prom. I don’t want to hold you back from the experience because of how indifferent I am. You would probably have more fun dancing than you would with me at my house anyways.”

Now Baekhyun seems pleased, Sehun barely resisting the urge to roll his eyes. He’s going to need to pray for Kyungsoo later. As Baekhyun and Kyungsoo squabble over Sehun’s choice, Sehun eats his lunch. He doesn’t even remember that Jongin’s there until he drops something on his tray, the resounding impact creating a metal twang.

Startled, Sehun looks to the left only to find Jongin slowly cleaning up the mess he’s made.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Jongin answers a few beats too late. And then he glances at Sehun with the saddest look, Sehun’s heart clenching at how defeated he seems. “Do you honestly not want to go to prom?”

It hurts, but Sehun really, _really_ doesn’t want to see Jongin dancing with someone that isn’t him. Sehun’s selfish, but he’s weaker more than anything. He needs to start protecting his heart and himself now because Jongin isn’t always going to be around and he isn’t always going to be single.

So despite how much it aches because he _could_ ask Jongin and he _could_ go with someone he cares about, he just says, “No, I don’t.”

“Okay, I’ll stop bothering you about it, then,” Jongin replies sadly.

Sehun wants to say something, wants to turn Jongin’s frown upside-down like the cliché saying goes, but he can’t even do that.

 _Useless,_ he chides himself, but keeps his mouth shut for the rest of lunch. It’s better that way anyway.

 

It’s midnight when Sehun’s phone lights up with a text from Jongin.

_Window pls_

To anyone else, this type of message would lead to confusion, but to Sehun – who’s seen this type of thing more than a few times – it’s like home. Throwing the covers off of his legs, Sehun shuffles over to the window and puts a hand out after opening it. Seconds later, fingers intertwine with his and then Jongin’s in his room, completely drenched.

“Jesus,” Sehun mutters as he quickly gathers some clothes for Jongin to change into. “You couldn’t have at least brought an umbrella with you?”

“Your carpet’s going to be fine,” Jongin mumbles, but takes the offered clothes with a small smile anyways.

Sehun doesn’t give a shit about his carpet, not when his best friend’s standing there looking like a sad, wet cat.

Jongin only ever comes over unannounced like this when something’s terribly wrong. Sehun’s bouncing with nervous energy with the seconds it takes Jongin to change and Sehun can’t even appreciate the beautiful canvas that’s steadily being revealed to him.

Jongin doesn’t talk, simply changes silently, passing Sehun on his way to the bathroom to hang up his wet clothes.

Sehun waits until Jongin’s back and sitting on his bed, one of the sides of his shirt slipping off of Jongin’s shoulders, to make a move. It’s dark, but Sehun can tell that Jongin’s been crying for the last few hours at least.

He looks lost as he sits there in Sehun’s borrowed clothes.

“You know,” Jongin starts, voice sharp in the silence despite the soft quality it takes on. “I thought that I was going to be okay. I thought that, maybe if I told myself I was good enough for a long time, then I would be okay, but I’m not.”

Sehun has no idea what Jongin’s talking about, but he tries to help despite it all. “You’re more than good enough, I promise. Whatever has you worried, I’m not sure that you have to worry that much.”

Jongin laughs, the sound mirthless and bitter. It’s cold, it’s so cold and nothing like the warmth that Jongin always exudes. “My grades aren’t like yours, Sehun. I don’t have straight A’s.”

And suddenly it all makes sense. People have been getting acceptance letters left and right, the school abuzz with both that and prom-related events. Sehun had received a few acceptance letters himself over the past few days, and even though his first instinct had been to call Jongin up and tell him, Jongin’s been off for the last couple of days. Sehun hates how he hadn’t figured it out until Jongin appeared in his window on a rainy school night with leftover tears in his eyes. He should’ve known...he should’ve known.

“Having two or three B’s isn’t going to be the end of the world,” Sehun says softly. If only Jongin could see how Sehun sees him – so lovely, so warm, so amazing. “You’re smart and I know you can get in to more places than you think because you have so much passion and drive that it flows out of your body.” 

That’s only a fraction of what Sehun actually wants to say. There are so many things that his frantically beating heart wants him to tell Jongin, but he holds back, knowing it isn’t the right time for such a confession.

Sehun’s heart wonders when the right time will be.

Sehun’s brain doesn’t know.

“Am I?” Jongin sniffles.

Sehun chuckles softly and squeezes Jongin’s fingers. “You are.”

He doesn’t even know when his hand found Jongin’s or Jongin’s hand found his, but it’s irrelevant. They both thrive off of physical contact, especially with each other (or at least Sehun likes to think the feeling’s mutual), and a touch is the only surefire way Sehun knows how to calm Jongin down and offer anything and everything he can.

They stay like that for another hour, Sehun calming Jongin down and talking him through his fears instead of telling him he’s wrong for thinking such a way. He’s been down that road before and he knows that when someone’s scared of something, the worst thing to do is tell them that they’re stupid for thinking so. Even if Sehun thinks Jongin’s perfect, Jongin deserves to talk about what he’s feeling without someone shutting him down. 

There’s a lull in their hushed conversation, only broken when Jongin yawns.

“You must be tired,” Sehun whispers. It’s almost one-thirty in the morning but what is time when he’s with Jongin? Nothing but bits and pieces of treasured memories that he’ll keep with him for the rest of his life.

“No,” Jongin starts to deny, only to cut himself off with another yawn.

Rolling his eyes, Sehun pushes Jongin’s shoulders until they’re both lying down. Sehun doesn’t get too close in fear of Jongin feeling or hearing the way his heart’s trying to beat its way out of his ribs and into Jongin’s hands. There’s only so much that he can take without his mask of indifference cracking.

Jongin ends up scooting even closer, Sehun going stiff with the way he can see Jongin’s every eyelash, every blemish. He doesn’t stop moving until he’s flush against Sehun, head tucked under Sehun’s chin, which is ridiculous because they’re the same height and if anyone’s going to be the little spoon and be taken care of, it should be Sehun. He lets Jongin do what he wants, though, pushing his inner brat down to focus all of his energy on Jongin and making him feel loved. It’s Sehun’s specialty after all. He knows Jongin inside-out, knows what makes him laugh, knows what makes him cry, knows what makes him squirm. He’s finally given the chance to show Jongin just how much he cares and if Jongin ever asks, he can hide it under the pretense of comfort.

So it’s with a soft, satisfied sigh that Sehun wraps an arm around Jongin’s small waist and nuzzles closer.

Jongin bounds up to him two days later with a smile brighter than the sun, a smile of his own involuntarily making its way onto his lips.

“I got in!” Jongin exclaims right before he launches himself at Sehun. He stumbles slightly, arms automatically coming up to rest on Jongin’s waist so they don’t tumble to the floor.

“That’s great,” Sehun breathes once he gets enough air in his lungs to do so.

Despite how happy he is for Jongin, though, a little part of his heart rips off thinking about how far away Jongin’s going to be from him. They won’t be able to see each other everyday anymore and texting isn’t the same as face-to-face conversation. Sehun can’t feel the warmth that Jongin exudes through the phone, can’t see the way his face lights up when talking about something he enjoys, can’t hear his deep laughter through a message.

He pushes down his selfishness, because Jongin deserves that. Jongin deserves the world, not someone who’s going to drag him down with negativity like Sehun.

“Yeah! I really couldn’t believe it when I got home yesterday and saw the envelope waiting for me. I was going to call you, but I decided that telling you in person would be better, I don’t know why, but...”

Sehun just smiles as Jongin rambles on with the happiest expression on his face even if it feels like a weight just settled down in his stomach.

For Jongin, he tells himself. For Jongin.

 

“Hun.”

Sehun ignores Jongin, rapidly typing numbers away on his calculator.

“Hun.”

He presses the numbers down a little harder this time, pencil almost breaking with how hard he’s pushing it into his notebook.

“Huuuuuun.”

Sehun sighs, totally giving up. “What?”

He doesn’t have to turn around to know there’s a smile on Jongin’s face. “Can you help me with this question?”

“Why can’t you just look it up on the Internet,” Sehun mutters, but pushes back from his desk anyways. Jongin’s sitting in the middle of Sehun’s bed looking entirely too at home, papers and textbooks and pens strewn everywhere. There’s barely any room for Sehun which is ridiculous because it’s _his_ bed that Jongin’s infiltrating. 

“You know I’ve always been bad at chemistry,” Jongin says and oh no, he’s pouting. Sehun resolutely refuses to look at Jongin pouting lest he experiences heart problems.

“The subject, maybe,” Sehun whispers to himself. There’s no doubt about it that Sehun feels chemistry with Jongin, because he and Jongin work together almost perfectly. They’re like two puzzle pieces that refuse to part, the both of them knowing almost everything about the other (except the one secret that Sehun can’t – won’t – tell Jongin, not yet).

“Sorry?” Jongin asks, his head titling to the side in question.

“I was just thinking about how to do the problem, don’t worry.” Sehun swears that a drop of sweat works its way down his temple, but Jongin thankfully doesn’t seem to pick up on it.

“Oh. Well hurry up, then, I don’t have all day,” Jongin teases with his signature pretty smile. Intent on keeping his heart rate stable, Sehun focuses all of his energy on this equilibrium problem.

“Okay, so do you know the constant you need to use?”

Jongin simply blinks at him and Sehun rolls his eyes. He should’ve known.

“Page two hundred,” Sehun says as he shoves the book back over. “I assume the only reason you couldn’t do the problem was because you didn’t have the constant.” It’s not a question, but Jongin treats it as such anyways.

“I hate when they do that!” Jongin wails. “Why can’t they just give it to me in the problem? I never remember to look it up.”

Sehun pats him consolingly. “At least it will be right there on the test.”

“But still!”

“I don’t make the rules,” Sehun replies with a chuckle. Jongin’s always so cute when he’s pouting and even though Sehun’s heart is currently trying to wiggle its way out of his chest, it’s okay because it’s Jongin. Maybe one day Sehun will be immune to Jongin’s charms, but he’s not against waiting a long time until that day comes.

 

“That’s a terrible idea.”

Baekhyun whines and Sehun swears he’s becoming more and more like a puppy as each day passes. “What’s so bad about it?”

Sehun raises an eyebrow. “Do you seriously think that Kyungsoo’s going to want to be asked to prom like that? Do you even think he wants to be asked by _you_?”

“Yes,” Baekhyun responds automatically.

“You don’t sound very confident.” It had sounded like it was coming from someone who had practiced it a thousand times, someone who told himself over and over again that it was the truth.

“I am,” Baekhyun retorts, but Sehun can just feel that Baekhyun isn’t nearly as confident as he makes out to be.

“Are you sure?” Sehun asks, completely serious as he looks at Baekhyun.

It doesn’t take more than a few seconds for Baekhyun’s carefully crafted composure to crack. It’s the way his lips twitch before falling slightly, how his fingers twiddle around each other, how his eyes don’t meet Sehun’s for more than a few seconds.

“No,” he says, barely a whisper.

Sehun sighs when he sees how downcast Baekhyun becomes. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were putting yourself up to.”

“I know, I know. I appreciate it. Someone has to stop me from doing stupid shit.” Baekhyun gives a wry smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Maybe you can do something less extravagant,” Sehun suggests because while going onto the stage in the middle of the quad and singing to Kyungsoo with multiple banners and streamers all around him sounds like a terribly loud, completely Baekhyun idea, he doesn’t think that Kyungsoo would want to be the center of attention.

“I thought about it, how he might reject me,” Baekhyun says suddenly. “And I wondered, did I really want him to say no, especially in front of all those people? But being loud is the only thing I’m good at.”

“That’s not true at all,” Sehun refutes. “Yeah, you’re loud almost one-hundred percent of the time, but you’re also observant and you know how to cheer people up. You know I’m not good with words, and that’s why I think you’re so much better than you say you are. It’s hard to make people feel better and keep their spirits lifted. You know how to cheer people up in ways that I couldn’t even imagine, but that’s also because you pay attention to what they like and what makes them laugh. There’s more to you than a loud mouth, trust me.”

“Wow,” Baekhyun says with wide eyes. “That’s the most I’ve ever heard you talk at one time...and it’s for me.”

Sehun feels a blush rising to his cheeks, so he punches Baekhyun in the arm to divert his attention. “Shut up, I’m trying to be helpful here.”

“No, no, you are,” Baekhyun’s quick to assure. “I just didn’t know you were capable of so many words at once.”

“I’m leaving.”

“No,” Baekhyun whines as he clings to Sehun’s arm. “Who else is supposed to help me woo Kyungsoo over?”

Making a face, Sehun says, “You know him better than anyone. How am I supposed to help?”

Baekhyun hums. “That’s true. You would only be able to help me woo Jongin, but even that would be asking for too much.”

Sehun squawks in denial. “That’s not all that I’m good at!”

Baekhyun isn’t listening, though, too busy muttering to himself about Kyungsoo and things he likes. Sehun’s not entirely sure where Baekhyun found out some of that information (especially about the stash of anime collectibles in his closet) but he doesn’t want to know. It’s kind of weird because he didn’t think Kyungsoo would even let Baekhyun within ten meters of his house, but hey, he learns something new everyday.

As he sits there (because Baekhyun won’t let him leave even though he’s not doing anything), Sehun’s thoughts drift to prom. The more the date approaches, the more it feels like it’s staring him down and daring him to _not_ go. Even the sight of Tiffany’s obnoxiously pink signs aren’t as obnoxious anymore, but Sehun placates himself by telling himself that it’s just conditioning at work. He can’t deny that it’s starting to look more appealing. Unconsciously, a smile had tugged at his lips over the past few days when he had happened to pass by a prom ask. Luckily, no one had been around for his moments of weakness, but it’s getting harder to look away and not think about it.

Something suddenly rams into his shoulder in the middle of his inner struggle. When he looks down, Baekhyun’s looking right back up at him with a cheeky smile. Sehun supposes he should probably be more surprised, but it’s Baekhyun.

Sehun must look confused for Baekhyun says, “You had your thinking face on.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t just my normal face?” Sehun retorts. He’s heard people talk about his lovingly labeled “bitch face” a fair amount of times, but it’s not like he can _help_ the way his face looks with certain expressions (or lack thereof).

Baekhyun snorts. “Sehun, please.” He doesn’t elaborate any further, but Sehun supposes he doesn’t have to since Sehun had already known the answer anyways.

“I’m not going to tell you,” Sehun says. Baekhyun deflates immediately with an annoyed huff.

“Fine,” Baekhyun sniffs. “Be secretive. I think I finally have an idea, though, so I’m going to go now. I don’t know why you even bothered staying.”

Sehun sputters because it’s not like he _wanted_ to stay here. He doesn’t even get the chance to respond before Baekhyun’s standing up with his backpack in hand. Sehun can only roll his eyes. Byun Baekhyun at his finest.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, either,” Baekhyun says just as he’s turning to leave. Sehun looks up at him with a questioning look only to receive a soft smile. “You’re observant and better with words than you think.”

And then Baekhyun’s walking off while Sehun’s left to sit there with a slack jaw.

 

It takes Sehun two more weeks of intense thinking to come to the conclusion that he should’ve been able to make weeks ago. So before he can talk himself out of it any longer, he hands his money over to the devil. The girl behind the window slides a ticket back over with a chipper, “Thank you and have fun!”

It’s almost mechanical the way Sehun approaches their lunch table, ticket still in hand. It’s an unassuming piece of paper, yet it sure cost a hell of a lot and Sehun swears he can hear his wallet crying (although his mother had all but beamed as she slipped the money into his hands earlier).

“What’s that?” Baekhyun asks before Sehun can even sit down. And then he cuts Sehun off just as he’s about to respond, almost screeching, “Is that a prom ticket?”

“Can you get any louder?” Sehun hisses as he ducks his head, but it’s useless. Multiple people are looking at them now. Sehun can feel his face heating up.

“Yes,” Kyungsoo responds, Sehun’s embarrassment quickly dissipating to make way for surprise. Neither of them elaborate on it, though.

“Anyways,” Sehun drawls after a few seconds. “Yeah, it is.”

He tries not to look at Jongin to see his reaction, but he can’t help but sneak a peek from the corner of his eye. Jongin’s practically beaming and it’s hard to keep a smile from spreading on his own face in response.

“Really?” Jongin asks. “That’s awesome! Now I can be with my best friend and my date!”

Sehun’s heart drops. “Date?”

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo send him sympathetic gazes, but he pays them no mind.

Jongin nods. “Yeah, Luhan hyung asked me. He’s cool so I thought I would have a good time.”

“Oh.” Well at least this way Sehun won’t have to panic over asking Jongin or have to wait for Jongin to ask him or someone else. And at least this way Sehun doesn’t have to ask someone period; there’s no one else he would rather go with.

Jongin keeps talking, but for the first time in a long time, Sehun doesn’t pay attention.

Later, when they’re walking to class, Baekhyun places a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry that you found out after you bought the ticket. I would’ve told you, but I didn’t think you were going to go.”

“It’s fine.” Except it’s really not. It’s like Yooyoung all over again except this time it’s with Luhan, a guy. At least now Sehun can somewhat confidently say that Jongin’s at least bisexual in some respects. And if not, if he’s just going with Luhan as a friend, then he’s not sure. It’s eating away at him, the fact that he doesn’t even know that about Jongin, but then again, he supposes, if Jongin doesn’t want to tell him, then he’s not going to force him.

“It’s not,” Baekhyun retorts. His fingers dig in a little tighter, but Sehun doesn’t think he’s doing it on purpose.

Letting out a sigh, Sehun pries Baekhyun’s fingers away before intertwining their hands. “It will be,” he amends.

Baekhyun sighs himself. “You’re an idiot, but I’m practically in the same boat, so I can’t say anything.”

“You haven’t asked yet?”

Baekhyun sighs again, this time heavier and sadder. “No. I haven’t been able to find the right time.”

Prom’s in a few weeks, so Baekhyun needs to get on it. “You’re running out of time. Don’t be too late like I was.”

“I won’t,” Baekhyun says, conviction lacing every syllable. Sehun smiles down at Baekhyun. At least one of them will hopefully get the date they wanted.

 

All of the days start blending together, one after another in a monotonous routine that Sehun’s long gotten bored of, until prom is that weekend and finals are coming up around the corner. Almost everyone has gotten their acceptance or rejection letters by now, so it’s the time of the school year where everyone asks each other where they’re going to go, if they’ve decided on a major yet, and other mundane things that Sehun gets tired of answering. He swears that if someone asks him what universities he’s gotten into _one_ more time-

“Hey!” Jongin calls out as he slings an arm around Sehun’s shoulders. Sehun still jumps, never getting used to Jongin doing that no matter how long it’s been. He feels Jongin’s huffing laugh against his neck more than he feels it, his automatic response being to squirm away from the ticklish feeling. Jongin keeps him in place, though, but it’s not like Sehun would’ve gone far anyways.

“What do you want?” Sehun grumbles. It’s a Wednesday, so it’s not a surprise that he’s grumpier than usual.

“Cheer up,” Jongin proclaims as he shoves a cup into Sehun’s hands. “Just think. There’s only four more Wednesdays left of the school year.”

Sehun takes a sip of the coffee appreciatively, almost immediately relaxing when the liquid hits his tongue. He should be happy there’s only a month of school left, but that just means he’s that much closer to being away from Jongin.

“Just because we’re graduating doesn’t mean that Wednesdays will stop being terrible. Did you forget about college?”

Jongin rolls his eyes. “It’s kind of hard to when that’s all I get asked about.”

“That’s fair,” Sehun says because it’s true.

“I just wish they would find something else to ask about,” Jongin sighs.

“I wish they would just stop asking me things period,” Sehun says and that, for some reason, gets another laugh out of Jongin, muffled by Sehun’s shoulder.

“That’s fair,” Jongin responds, cheeky smile in place.

“Oh, you’re using my lines now?”

Blinking innocently, Jongin looks at Sehun. “Did you copyright those words?”

Sehun shoves at Jongin, but it’s no use because Jongin can be a human barnacle if he really sets his mind to it. “Smart ass.”

Jongin gets this glint in his eyes that Sehun already knows he won’t like. Baekhyun probably taught it to him, the asshole. “But I’m _your_ ass.”

Groaning, Sehun quickly detaches himself from Jongin, only taking slight satisfaction in Jongin tripping before he gets his bearings. “Not again.”

“You set yourself up for it,” Jongin sing-songs. Sehun speeds up to get away lest he have more secondhand embarrassment, but Jongin’s faster than he is, uninhibited by the worry of coffee spilling out of the cup and burning his hand.

“I did no such thing,” Sehun hisses. By that point, Jongin has reattached himself to Sehun. He groans like he’s annoyed even if he’s not, something that Jongin must know for he flicks Sehun in the neck. It’s a light tap, but Sehun still lets out an affronted noise, scrunching his shoulder up so Jongin doesn’t have access.

“Whatever you say.”

“Jongin!”

Sehun turns, only to deflate when he sees Luhan bounding up to them with a bright smile. It’s not even eight in the morning yet; it’s almost unnatural how awake Luhan already is while Sehun feels like a zombie.

“Oh, hey Sehun,” Luhan greets almost as an afterthought. Sehun attempts to smile back. He’s not sure how it turns out.

“Hi hyung,” Jongin chirps. “What’s up?”

“Nothing much, I was just wondering what color tie I should get? It’s a random thought, I know, but I saw you walking and thought I might as well ask before I forget again.” Luhan laughs, his whole face scrunching up with it.

Sehun has an inkling as to what color Jongin’s going to pick, smiling slightly when Jongin confirms his suspicions and says, “How about dark red?”

“That works with me,” Luhan says. “Well, that’s all I really had to ask, but if I think of something else, I’ll text you!”

Then Luhan’s walking away, disappearing just as fast as he appeared, Sehun and Jongin alike blinking at the now-unoccupied space.

It takes a few more seconds until either of them say anything, Jongin laughing slightly. “He sure is interesting. Anyways, can I come over today? I brought along Mario Kart since yours sucks and keeps freezing.”

“Insulting my games isn’t going to get you in good favors with either of us,” Sehun responds with a raised eyebrow.

Jongin simply blinks. “But I was telling the truth?”

“Awful,” Sehun mutters, attempting to turn away, but like before, Jongin’s holding on so tightly that he can barely turn half a shoulder length away. Giving up with a sigh, Sehun drawls, “Well I _guess_ you could come over today.”

“Awesome!” Jongin exclaims with another boyish smile that absolutely does not cause Sehun’s heart to flutter away like a butterfly. “You know where I’ll be after school waiting for you.”

If only Jongin was waiting for him the way he wanted Jongin to be waiting for him, but he’s going to settle with this for now. So he gives Jongin a smile and a thumbs up to mask the clenching of his heart, akin to the tip of a butterfly’s wing chipping off.

 

Sehun doesn’t understand the concept of time. One minute he’s sitting with Jongin in Sehun’s room, the both of them yelling and attempting to distract the other as their carts raced on and the next, it’s three hours until prom.

Sehun hadn’t seen much of Jongin yesterday since he and Luhan had been out shopping and getting things done last minute. He thinks it takes away the surprise of seeing each other right when the door opens, not to mention he can’t even fathom _what_ they need at this point since he knows for a fact that Jongin already has his clothes and shoes picked out. Luhan does have a penchant for making things extravagant, though, so although some more of the butterfly wing that is his heart crumbles at the thought, he wants Jongin to have the best time at prom and if that means going on spontaneous shopping trips with Luhan, so be it.

Baekhyun shows up at about five looking _really_ nice. Baekhyun snorts when Sehun tells him as such, rolling his eyes as he says, “Sehun, please. I look amazing everyday, just more so today.”

Despite the snark, Baekhyun honestly does look handsome. His suit fits him perfectly, subtly showing off his hips and his thighs, as well as his arms. Sehun didn’t even know Baekhyun’s arms had some muscle to them, but he can definitely see something through the material of his charcoal gray vest and shirt combination.

Baekhyun all but shoves him into his room after greeting Sehun’s parents with his usual chipper tone.

“Don’t you worry, Mrs. Oh! I’m going to make it so that you won’t even recognize your son after this,” Baekhyun calls happily as he’s steering Sehun down the hallway.

Sehun tries to flail and squawk his protest, but all he hears is his mother’s laughter.

Once the door is closed behind them – Sehun feeling more and more like a captive animal as time goes by – Baekhyun sets a big bag down that Sehun hadn’t even realized he was carrying.

Despite his usual prerogative to go against anything and everything that Baekhyun says or does, this time Sehun just lets Baekhyun do whatever he wants. He’s practically going to be putty in Baekhyun’s slender hands for the next hour, so he might as well make it as less painful as possible.

“Where’s Kyungsoo?” Sehun wonders just as Baekhyun returns with five different things that Sehun only half-recognizes.

Baekhyun flushes, Sehun’s eyebrows raising in response. “He’s going to come pick me up later. Or well, you know, he’s coming here to ride with us, not take me with him.”

Smiling, Sehun tries not to get excited enough that Baekhyun will scold him for moving as he’s working as he wonders, “So does that mean your ask was successful?”

Baekhyun nods, but that’s all he manages. Sehun can’t help but laugh, loving the fact that Baekhyun’s entirely speechless. He wishes he could capture this moment, but his phone’s on his bed and Baekhyun had instructed him to sit still or he would get an eyeliner pencil to the eye. And while that sounds utterly fantastic, Sehun quite likes his eye. Besides, if he actually took a picture, Baekhyun would just jump on his back and yell in Sehun’s ear until he deleted it. Sehun quite likes his hearing ability as well. He’ll just have to settle with giving Baekhyun a lot of shit later when his bodily functions don’t have the potential to be damaged.

Twenty long minutes later, Baekhyun steps back with a happy, rectangular smile. “You look hot.”

Sehun can’t help but snort. “And I bet you’re going to take all the credit for it.”

“Damn right,” Baekhyun affirms. “Now, you can turn around and see just how hot you are. Jongin’s going to be sad that he missed out on you.”

Sehun doesn’t really expect much, but when he turns his chair around, he almost falls out of it. He honestly doesn’t look that much different, which he’s thankful for because Baekhyun can go all out on makeup when he wants to, except for the artfully done black around his eyes. Sehun knows next to nothing about makeup, but he knows enough to see that there’s eyeliner rimming his eyes, not thick enough to look like he hasn’t sleep in a week, but definitely thick enough to be noticeable. He also thinks there’s eyeshadow on his upper lids, the color starting light and getting darker as it fans out towards the outer corners of his eyes.

“There’s a little bit of dark red mixed in,” Baekhyun says, suddenly popping up behind Sehun to put a hand on his shoulder. “So you could be connected to Jongin in some way.”

And even though it stings slightly, Sehun appreciates the sentiment. “Thanks, Baekhyun. It’s amazing.”

“I know,” Baekhyun gloats, but when Sehun looks at him through the mirror, his eyes and smile are soft. Before Sehun can attempt to decode that look, Baekhyun’s turning away and flouncing to Sehun’s bed where his clothes and tie are all laid out and waiting for him.

Whistling as he picks up the pants, Baekhyun looks from Sehun to the clothing and back. “Your ass is going to look _fantastic_ in this.”

And it turns out that Baekhyun’s right about that as well once Sehun wiggles his way into them. He even slaps Sehun’s ass for good measure, Sehun squeaking and turning to him with an affronted look only to be met with Baekhyun’s happy nod and appreciative stare.

“I was right. But then again, I’m always right.”

Sehun doesn’t even dignify that with a response.

His mother gasps once they turn the corner to the living room, but his father is the first one that says something. “Wow. You look great.”

Sehun’s smile is bashful and he barely resists the urge to scratch the back of his neck out of embarrassment. “Thanks, Dad.”

“We’re going to have to take a lot of pictures,” his mother says, already up and out of her chair as she mutters to herself.

When Sehun looks to his father in question, he simply shakes his head with a fond smile.

The doorbell rings not seconds after that, Baekhyun practically sprinting to the foyer. There’s really only one person it could be since it’s too early for Jongin and Luhan to be arriving. It’s almost amusing how Baekhyun barely stops himself from running into the door, trying to act nonchalant as he smoothes his hair and vest down.

“Hi Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun greets once he opens the door.

Kyungsoo smiles, Sehun blinking because he honestly doesn’t see that all too often. Compared to Baekhyun and Luhan, Kyungsoo’s just like Sehun when it comes to emoting, with happiness especially.

“Hi date,” Kyungsoo responds. Sehun’s eyes almost pop out of his skull at the affectionate way Kyungsoo says that, only to figure it out once Baekhyun has a coughing fit, Kyungsoo chuckling. Softly – probably the softest that Sehun has ever seen Kyungsoo be with Baekhyun – he pats Baekhyun on the shoulder and with a warm smile says, “Easy there. You have to make it through the night. You promised me that you would make it amazing and you can’t do that if you’re choking.”

That only serves to make Baekhyun cough more, Kyungsoo tsking in good nature.

“I’m fine,” Baekhyun attempts to assert, but his voice cracks slightly in the middle of the sentence. Sehun can’t help the smile that tugs at the corners of his lips. He’s never seen Baekhyun like this before, so it’s certainly interesting. He must like Kyungsoo a lot if he’s too nervous to be as loud and bright as usual.

Baekhyun looks like an excited puppy as they make their way over, too much energy flowing from his body and translating into the nervous twitching of his hands once he has nothing to hold on to.

Once Kyungsoo notices Sehun, his eyes widen. “Wow, you look good Sehun. Baekhyun did a good job.”

“Well he had a near-perfect canvas to work with,” Sehun jokes, Kyungsoo laughing as he nods. They settle into small talk, Kyungsoo incredibly polite when he talks with Sehun’s farther while Baekhyun becomes completely useless with the way he stars at Kyungsoo like he’s the reason the stars shine in the night sky. It must be nice, being able to stare at his crush like nothing’s wrong because they already know your feelings. Sehun won’t admit it out loud, but at this moment, he’s terribly jealous of Baekhyun.

Time passes, his mother takes picture after picture and Sehun feels happy until someone knocks on the door. It’s almost like autopilot with the way he gets up to answer the door, trying and forcing a smile on his face once he swings the door open.

It’s almost worth it when both Jongin and Luhan’s faces go from smiling to shocked in a second.

“Sehun!” Luhan exclaims, hands twitching like he doesn’t know what to do with them. Sehun takes a small step back just in case Luhan starts getting any ideas about patting his face or something.

“Luhan!” Sehun replies with far less enthusiasm but that’s not new.

“You look hot,” Luhan states bluntly, a wry smile turning Sehun’s lips up.

“Thanks. You look good, too.” And while he mostly said that out of politeness, it’s not entirely a lie. Luhan looks slim in his suit, the dark red of the tie complimenting his skin tone and hair color almost impeccably. Sehun doesn’t dare look at Jongin lest he suddenly stop breathing or collapse to the floor.

Luckily, or unluckily, his mother scampers over then, happily pulling Luhan and Jongin into the house and dragging them to the living room for pictures. Jongin’s so used to Sehun’s mother’s antics that he doesn’t even stumble when she tugs on his hand. Luhan, however, isn’t prepared and Sehun takes satisfaction in the way he stutter-steps before tripping slightly. It’s short-lived smugness, for Jongin fusses over him almost immediately after, gently combing fingers through Luhan’s hair. It’s like Jongin doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, but Jongin _has_ always been one for soft touches like that so Sehun really shouldn’t be surprised.

They both straighten up eventually, Sehun’s mother pulling them along again as she blabbers about dates and pictures and stars and fireworks.

“Sehun!” she calls, a frown on her face when she turns and realizes he’s still standing by the door. “You have to be in this picture.”

“I’ve already taken, like, two, though,” he grumbles but does as he’s told. And it seems that the world’s actually on his side, for he ends up at the end of the line the five of them form, Sehun on the extreme left with Jongin on the far right. Baekhyun’s practically preening from his center position, constantly wiggling around and fixing his hair.

“Stop that,” Kyungsoo murmurs lowly and Baekhyun stills almost immediately with a pout on his face.

“Everyone ready?” Sehun’s mother asks. There’s a bright smile on her face as she peers at them from behind the camera. Sometimes Sehun wishes he could be as happy and as positive as her. Most times, though, he figures it’s too much work.

“Smile!” she calls and Sehun attempts if only because it will appease her and he doesn’t want to look back at this picture in twenty years and be reminded of how awful he currently feels. Although he supposes that seeing Jongin and Luhan all crowded together would probably remind him anyways.

It takes a lot of whining and persisting, but Sehun eventually gets his mother to stop taking pictures and let them leave.

“Be safe!” she calls from the doorway. “But don’t forget to have fun and dance with a lot of people! Your senior prom only comes once in your life!”

His father pulls her back inside with a wave before she can say anything embarrassing, Sehun finally able to breathe once he settles in the limo. Jongin and Luhan are already bunched together, talking lowly to each other. Sehun thinks he might be sick.

Thankfully, Baekhyun’s still Baekhyun and manages to talk so much that Sehun almost forgets about them entirely. Jongin and Luhan enter the conversation a few minutes later, Sehun’s heart untensing at the way Jongin laughs at something stupid Baekhyun says.

It’s just a little more bearable when Jongin and Luhan aren’t sharing each other’s space as if they’re one entity, but the seat next to Sehun still feels terribly cold.

Over the hour that they’re in the limo, Sehun finds himself relaxing. Luhan’s funny and tells interesting stories and Sehun laughs more than a few times. He feels like an ass for being so standoffish with Luhan and it’s no excuse, but his heart’s so bruised that it’s a little hard for it to function properly with all of the band-aids around it. People do stupid shit when they’re in love and Sehun’s no exception.

When the hotel finally comes into view, Baekhyun yodels so loudly that Kyungsoo has to flick his arm and shoot him a look to get him to be relatively normal again.

“How come you aren’t excited?!” Baekhyun screeches, almost like he’s personally offended even though he didn’t organize the event at all.

“You’re forgetting that two of us didn’t really want to come in the first place,” Sehun reminds him.

“Exactly. I only came for you,” Kyungsoo adds and that probably wasn’t the right thing to say because now Baekhyun has these gross hearts shooting out of his eyes.

“It’ll be worth it,” Baekhyun assures. It’s weird - it looks like Baekhyun’s holding himself back from something. It only makes sense when Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and clasps their hands together, Baekhyun almost bouncing in place.

Sehun’s so caught up in how gross Baekhyun’s being that he almost forgets Jongin’s there, too, which is odd considering how attuned to Jongin he is. He’s always been aware of Jongin – probably _too_ aware – but now he doesn’t want to be. It hurts too much, but only because he knows that could’ve been him if he wasn’t such a wimp and got his shit together earlier.

“Ready?” Luhan asks Jongin and gets a blinding smile in return. Sehun’s suddenly glad that he’s sitting next to the door so he can make a hasty exit and not look at how cozy they look together.

Check-in is smooth and simple; it’s easy to make a beeline towards one of the tables in the middle. Sehun’s going to be sitting here for a good few hours, so he might as well be as masochistic as possible and have a good view of the dance floor.

“This is going to be so fun!” Baekhyun shouts, which is entirely unnecessary because it’s early, so not many people are here and the music isn’t playing yet. But it’s Baekhyun, so it’s no doubt entirely necessary to him.

“Sure,” Sehun agrees only to get Baekhyun off his case and maybe go somewhere else, like to wherever Jongin and Luhan have wandered off to. It’s not very effective, Baekhyun plopping down right next to Sehun before leaning into his personal space like a puppy wanting attention.

“You do know that I’m going to try and get you out on that dance floor as much as possible, right?” He flutters his eyelashes up at Sehun.

“Don’t do that,” Sehun mutters, both referring to the fluttering and the threat. “It’s not going to be worth your time.”

“Sorry to say but I’m probably going to help him,” Kyungsoo says, somehow ending up on Sehun’s other side.

Sehun feels betrayed. “How could you Kyungsoo? I trusted you to be just as apathetic as me.”

Kyungsoo shrugs. “Maybe Baekhyun’s idiocy is rubbing off on me, but I figured that I could enjoy this one night. It won’t be coming back again.”

“I’m not an idiot,” Baekhyun grumbles.

Kyungsoo reaches around Sehun to pat Baekhyun on the thigh. “Of course not, of course not.”

Sehun smiles. It’s tiny, but it’s there and Baekhyun beams at him. They keep him company until Luhan and Jongin mosey on over and then Sehun’s left to pick at the tablecloth covering the table. People come and greet them as they trickle through the door, Jongdae’s eye popping open as he looks Sehun up and down.

“Wow, man, you look hot.”

Sehun laughs good-naturedly. “Thanks, Jongdae, I’ll let Baekhyun know you said that. You don’t look too bad yourself.”

Jongdae smiles that cute kitten smile of his and stays to talk for a little longer before leaving with a promise of coming back to steal Sehun for a dance.

An hour later finds Sehun in Baekhyun’s clutches despite the fact that there are now enough people here for the music to be blasting from the speakers. Sehun already feels a migraine coming on and he hasn’t even moved for the last hour.

“Shouldn’t you be doing something with Kyungsoo?” Sehun grumbles unhappily as Baekhyun prods his arm for the fourth time.

“Kyungsoo’s getting food for us right now, so I have time to bother you.”

“Lovely,” Sehun replies sarcastically. It’s nice to have someone to talk to, though. It’s just been him and his phone for the last hour.

“Did you ever notice how similar you and Luhan look?” Baekhyun suddenly asks.

Furrowing his eyebrows, Sehun looks over to the dance floor where Luhan and Jongin are dancing and then back at himself as if he doesn’t already know what he looks like.

“No?”

Baekhyun snorts rather unattractively. “Well you do. His features are softer and yours are more bitchy, but there’s definitely a resemblance.”

Sehun really has no idea what the hell Baekhyun’s talking about, but he can’t help but wonder. The longer he looks at Luhan, the more he can see it, but he’s still Sehun and Luhan’s still Luhan.

“Yooyoung doesn’t look like me,” Sehun deadpans in order to crush the hope starting to bloom in his chest that maybe Jongin could be attracted to him, too.

Baekhyun raises his arms in defense. “I never said my theory applied to everything, but you would have to be blind to not notice the resemblance between you two.”

“Don’t get my hopes up, Baekhyun,” Sehun whispers sadly, but it must have been loud enough since Baekhyun sighs.

“I’m trying to help you here, but I can see why you wouldn’t want to believe it. If I were you, I wouldn’t want to, either, but it’s possible, Sehun.”

It’s just his luck that he manages to catch Jongin’s eye at that moment. Jongin smiles his pretty, blinding smile and waves with a large amount of enthusiasm, Sehun sending him a small tilt of the lips back.

Sehun feels like Taylor Swift sitting there, except this time, he doesn’t get the guy. He doesn’t get to show up at prom and have the guy walk into his arms. Instead he gets to see the way Jongin and Luhan laugh as Luhan fixes Jongin’s tie, gets to see the way they whisper to each other in the limo, gets to see Luhan tug Jongin away and towards the line for pictures just as Jongin’s about to walk towards him for the first time all night.

Sehun has never felt such a connection to Taylor Swift as he watches the two of them interact, feels like a sad little husk of a person that wants to sing, “If you could see that I’m the one who understands you...” except he’s not Taylor Swift and he can’t sing as well as her but that’s moot point.

The inner Taylor Swift stan in him rejoices at being able to relate to her, but the inner Sehun in him sighs at being able to relate to her.

“Sighing is bad for your health,” Kyungsoo says as he appears with two plates full of food. Baekhyun makes a happy little noise; Sehun doesn’t know if it’s because Kyungsoo’s near him again or because there’s food in front of him. Judging by the way his eyes keep darting between the plate and Kyungsoo, Sehun’s going to assume it’s both.

With a snort, Sehun looks off towards the dance floor again, looking but not really seeing anything. “Well then it looks like I have a problem, doesn’t it?”

He’s not looking at Kyungsoo, but he can just _feel_ the way he’s staring at Sehun, half in pity and half in sorrow. “Yeah, you do, but you aren’t really doing much to fix it.”

“Some things aren’t meant to be fixed.”

“Don’t say that,” Baekhyun says, the words having a slight fire to them that startles Sehun enough for him to turn towards Baekhyun. His eyes are narrowed in Sehun’s direction. “I can’t believe you’re stupid enough to believe something like that.”

“Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo chides, but Baekhyun isn’t having any of it.

“No, if he was even paying half as much attention to Jongin as I have for the past three weeks, he would know that there’s something else there.”

And it’s funny because _all_ Sehun seems to do is stare at Jongin, so it doesn’t seem possible that he could’ve missed anything like what Baekhyun’s trying to brainwash him with.

“Don’t lie,” Sehun says stiffly.

“Does it looks like I’m lying to you? I’m not that big of an asshole to get your hopes up for them to be crushed.”

It stings, but Sehun’s primary reaction is to reject any inkling of hope. The walls around his heart have crumbled long ago, and the butterfly wings are so broken that there isn’t any hope for them to fly anymore.

Sehun hears Kyungsoo talking lowly to Baekhyun, probably trying to calm him down, but Sehun doesn’t listen, eyes scanning the dance floor because he’s a masochist.

It’s a complete surprise and accident when he manages to meet Yooyoung’s eyes through the crowd. She’s making her way towards him, or maybe she isn’t. The bathroom is somewhere behind him, so she’s probably heading there instead.

It’s just his luck that Yooyoung walks right up to him, a small smile on her face. She looks beautiful in her dress, the dark violet fabric practically curling around her body and flowing behind her as if she was a Goddess. The jewels artfully placed all around the gown only add to the image.

“Hi, Sehun,” she greets in that soft way of hers and even though she cleared addressed him, Sehun’s still trying to wrap his head around why Yooyoung of all people would want to talk to him.

Sehun, however, is polite enough even in his confusion to answer back with a pleasant hello of his own.

Yooyoung looks over her shoulder and then off to the side for a second before turning back to Sehun, leaving him wondering just _what_ she found to make her eyes light up and lips curl up at the corners. She studies him for a while and that makes him squirm in his seat, not because the stare is malicious, but because he’s not used to it.

“May I talk with you for a minute?” Yooyoung asks.

Now even more confused, Sehun can only manage a nod, curiosity beating out the uncertainty.

She beams and waits for him to get up before walking towards the hallway by the bathroom. Well at least Sehun was partially right about her heading towards the restroom.

“I don’t have much time, but I have to tell you this because, even from a third-party perspective, it’s kind of sad,” Yooyoung says once they’re away from the loud music and the thumping of the bass against both the walls and Sehun’s head.

“I’m sorry?” There seems to be a pattern forming because Sehun finds that he’s constantly lost around this girl.

Yooyoung laughs lightly, her eyes kind with a swirl of pity. “Maybe that wasn’t the best way to start that. But, Sehun...why don’t you tell Jongin?”

Heart stopping, Sehun looks at Yooyoung with wide eyes. “How-”

“How do I know?” Yooyoung cuts him off, probably saving him from himself and his terrible nervous rambling. She simply smiles that mysterious smile again and instead of answering the question, she asks another. “Jongin would never stop talking about you, you know?”

Sehun knows it’s rhetorical, but he answers with a choked, questioning noise anyways.

Yooyoung laughs and it’s pretty this time, but it’s not Jongin’s deep chuckle that Sehun loves so much. “Yeah, if there was something or someone we were always talking about, it was you. Even if he didn’t see it then, I did. It was obvious and it still is.”

Sehun wants to ask, he wants to assume what she’s making it seem like she’s saying, but his tongue’s glued to the roof of his mouth and he can’t get anything out.

Yooyoung looks him up and down. “You’re worse than he is, but at least you know what you’re feeling. If you want my advice, say something. He can be a little dense sometimes.”

Oh, Sehun knows that very well; she doesn’t need to tell him.

“Hey,” Yooyoung calls, Sehun snapping to attention despite all of the questions and thoughts whirring through his head.

“Yes?”

“The odds are in your favor, so don’t screw up and wait around until they aren’t anymore.” And then she’s gone, disappearing in a trail of purple fabric. Sehun thinks he should probably be offended by her words, but he brushes the feeling off. If he was so obvious that Yooyoung noticed when they didn’t even talk to each other, he must not be as subtle as he thought.

Baekhyun finds him some time later, a look of relief washing over his face. Sehun doesn’t know how long he’s been standing there, the seconds bleeding into minutes, maybe even a solid half an hour. He doesn’t have time to think about it much; in the next second, he has a face full of Baekhyun.

“I thought something had happened or that you left by yourself.” Baekhyun doesn’t usually fret, so the way he’s looking Sehun up and down in concern is more than a little foreign.

Sehun finds enough sense within himself to shake his head and murmur a quiet, “I’m fine, Baekhyun, don’t worry.”

It’s very obvious that Baekhyun isn’t keen on accepting his lie, but he seems to fight with himself, eyes shifting from narrow to wide and narrow again, before settling on something soft. He nods wordlessly. Sehun doesn’t think he’s ever known what it feels like to beat Baekhyun, to render him completely speechless. It’s not nearly as satisfying as he would’ve hoped.

“Come dance, please?” Baekhyun pleads. “It’s not fun knowing you’re not having fun when we could be doing something about it.”

“Don’t worry about me, you know I don’t really care for dances,” Sehun assures. The weight of Yooyoung’s words still linger in his mind as he aimlessly stares at the dance floor, where of course he manages to find Jongin, eyes drawn to him like a damn magnet.

His face must have done something for Baekhyun tugs him along suddenly, a surprised yelp leaving his lips. Kyungsoo’s easy to find and bring along once Baekhyun gets a grip on his wrist and Sehun’s left to be dragged behind Baekhyun as Kyungsoo sighs from next to him.

“I’ve already danced with you enough,” Kyungsoo complains, but through the haze, Sehun can hear the fondness seeping into his words.

“Dance with Sehun, then,” Baekhyun huffs once they’re right in the middle of the crowd. “Just not too close or I might wither away from jealousy or an equally as sad, lonely death while my two cats stare on from the distance.”

Snorting loudly, Kyungsoo disregards Baekhyun, turning playful eyes up towards Sehun. “Well, we wouldn’t want to let Baekhyun down, now would we?”

Baekhyun squawks out something that sounds like an indignant parrot, but Sehun’s too busy smiling, worries washing away for a second as Kyungsoo starts moving, Sehun’s body naturally following the beat. It’s amusing when Kyungsoo purposely shuffles closer and moves against Sehun’s side and he can hear the resulting huff that Baekhyun lets out, loud enough to be heard over the music.

Sehun enjoys himself more in those ten minutes than he has all night, laughing when Baekhyun crowds against his other side, sticking his tongue out at Kyungsoo before he rolls himself _directly_ onto Sehun. His body’s more aligned with Sehun’s front than his side like Kyungsoo, Sehun’s laugh cutting off to be replaced with a gasp at the unexpected pressure.

He backs away quickly, hands raised in defense because he’s _pretty_ sure that he heard something akin to a growl come up from Kyungsoo’s throat. “Look, leave your kinky shit at home, guys. I don’t want to be in the middle of whatever kind of gross foreplay this might be.”

“That’s not what this is,” Kyungsoo immediately replies, but the flush on his cheeks – that Sehun knows isn’t from dancing – completely betrays any of the heat that his words would have had otherwise. And Baekhyun’s preening from his spot, not at all looking repentant. Of course not. Sehun rolls his eyes, but doesn’t fight back when Baekhyun pulls him back over with a sugar sweet promise that he won’t try anything else. It turns out to be a lie like a lot of the things that come out of Baekhyun’s crude mouth, but Sehun just lets them dance around him, mind clearing of any negative thoughts for just a moment.

He only stays for a few more songs before he excuses himself to go get a drink and plop back down where he’s been for a good majority of the night, trusty phone in hand as he scrolls through Facebook. Unfortunately for him, almost everyone he knows is here, so his feed is as dry as a desert.

It’s stupid, but every time a shadow passes by, his hopes skyrocket to the moon thinking that it’s Jongin coming to talk to him, to ask him to dance, hell to even _breathe_ near him. And yet it’s foolish because not once is it Jongin.

Everything after that is incredibly boring. Not even the announcement of Prom King and Queen gets his blood pumping in interest, although he does offer Tiffany and Jonghyun a small smile when he sees them. They could be cute together in some odd-but-it-works way.

After quite possibly the longest five hours of his life, Sehun’s finally allowed to go home. Eyes drooping and feet dragging, Sehun shuffles out of the dark room and into the even darker evening, almost breathing a large sigh of relief when he notices their limo’s already there and waiting by the curb.

Before he’s able to climb in and pretend to nap so he doesn’t have to interact with anyone (he loves his friends, really, but he’s just too exhausted) someone claps him on the shoulder. Body frozen and stiff, he only relaxes once he sees an all too familiar sunny smile, but even then, Jongin’s really the last person he wants to see right now. It’s too emotionally draining thinking about the fun he witnessed Jongin and Luhan have, even if his heart practically sings at _finally_ having Jongin’s attention.

“I barely saw you all night and when I finally do see you, you looked like a bat out of hell trying to get out of there.” Jongin laughs, the sound doing its usual destruction to Sehun’s entire being.

“I told you I don’t like dances,” Sehun mumbles.

“I know, but then you told me you would go and I was so happy...I thought maybe you had somewhat changed your mind. I’m sorry it didn’t turn out to be all that great for you...”

Sehun waves him off as easily as he can manage, but it just feels still, a product of him sitting down for so long and the nervous jitters fluttering throughout his arm with Jongin’s close proximity. “It’s not really your fault.” Jongin definitely didn’t help, but he also can’t fault Jongin for having fun while Sehun became a sad, soggy sponge.

And then Jongin does something dangerous – he pouts. His eyes droop in that awful they always do when Jongin feels bad about something that he really doesn’t have to feel bad about and Sehun’s heart might actually have stopped beating at this point. God, he’s so fucking deep that there’s no hope of crawling out of his own personal combined hell and heaven.

And then it gets _worse_ because now there’s a pliant, clingy, apologetic Jongin clinging to him. It’s automatic the way Sehun’s arms wrap around Jongin’s shoulders, eyes closing at everything that is Jongin. “Sorry,” Jongin whispers. “I would say that I’ll make it up to you next time, but there’s not really going to be a next time.” He huffs out a laugh against Sehun’s shoulder, a smile making its way onto Sehun’s for maybe the third time in the last few hours.

The moment’s broken by none other than Baekhyun and his loud mouth, yapping about how nice prom was and how funny it was when Jongdae had managed to trip over the air and practically land in Baekhyun’s lap. Kyungsoo must punch him for Baekhyun whimpers before quieting down. It still doesn’t detract from the fact that, unless he wants Baekhyun’s smarmy smirk directed at him in the next three seconds, he needs to let go of Jongin, letting out a soft sigh when he pulls back and away. What he gets in return is a sleepy, confused expression that almost brings Sehun to his knees before Jongin looks over his shoulder and realization lights his face up.

“Hey!” Baekhyun greets as loudly as he usually does, although Sehun’s pretty sure he hears some strain around the edges, probably from how much he’s talked throughout the night. It probably won’t deter Baekhyun from speaking at all, but Sehun’s at least mollified that he’ll be able to make fun of Baekhyun for a few days.

Sehun simply raises an eyebrow in lieu of answering, Baekhyun barreling on regardless of the lack of response. “Where’s Luhan? And why are you guys standing out here instead of sitting inside the heated car that’s, you know, right behind you?”

“Luhan’s in the bathroom,” Jongin replies. “He should be here soon.”

And not two seconds later, Sehun spots Luhan stepping out of the double doors, a smile appearing on his face once he notices Sehun looking at him. After their little group’s complete, Sehun turns towards the limo and climbs in, just ready to get out of this suffocating suit and into comfortable pajamas.

He must knock out halfway through because the next thing he knows, someone’s shaking him awake. Blearily, Sehun peers around, vaguely noting that there are only two people in the car with him.

“Good morning,” Jongin says softly with a small chuckle. Kyungsoo laughs as well, but it doesn’t affect Sehun nearly as much.

“Not funny.” Sehun yawns, a hand coming up to rub the sleep away from his eyes. “Why did we stop?”

“We’re at your house,” Kyungsoo informs him with another laugh. A quick peek out the window proves that yes, yes they are.

“Oh.”

Kyungsoo outright laughs this time. Jongin at least has the decency to cover his mouth to somewhat keep his laughter in.

Sehun’s still sleepy, so it takes a little maneuvering and an entirely too-close encounter with Kyungsoo’s crotch that Sehun immediately wipes from his memory before he’s scooting his way out of the car.

“See you guys next week,” Sehun says. Jongin and Kyungsoo both wave and that’s the last thing he sees before closing the door.

The lights are off when he opens the front door to his house, a happy sigh escaping his lips. He doesn’t want to deal with twenty questions right now, so it’s with relief that he peels his jeans off, wipes his makeup off, and flops face first onto his bed.

 

It’s almost surreal how there’s only two weeks until graduation. In two weeks, he’ll be able to sleep in peacefully and procrastinate all of his pre-college duties, but he _won’t_ be able to see Jongin as often, if at all.

Sometimes, as he lays awake at night, he wonders if it’s for the best, if the distance between him and Jongin would be a good thing. At least that way his heart would stop trying to repair itself and take flight every other second and maybe – just maybe – he would be able to finally let his crush fizzle out and die.

But no, his heart and his brain betray him, immediately falling into despair at the thought that Jongin won’t be in touching range, won’t be near to offer a smile, won’t be close enough to push and joke around with. Jongin’s such a constant that Sehun doesn’t really know what he’s going to do without Jongin, which brings him right back around the circle and towards the thought that it’s going to be for the better.

It’s almost a miracle how Baekhyun doesn’t comment on it for two days, but on the third day, when Sehun sits down at their lunch table, Baekhyun doesn’t hold back.

“You know,” he starts softly, “this makes me sad.”

“The lunch here? Shouldn’t you be happy that you won’t have to eat it anymore?” Sehun tries to joke. He’s been so careful around them, making sure not to dampen Baekhyun and Kyungsoo’s high spirits, so why is it that Baekhyun’s still able to see right through him?

“Hun,” Kyungsoo chides softly. Sehun’s shoulders immediately slump at the single syllable.

Sehun knows it’s not going to be worth asking, but he does anyways. “If I told you guys that it would be fine, would you believe me?”

“Not a chance,” Baekhyun answers.

“I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around it myself,” Sehun mutters.

“There’s always Skype? And you know, you both have phones. I’m sure you have each other’s numbers memorized by heart,” Kyungsoo offers.

“Yeah, but you know it’s not the same.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes drop slightly. “I do, but I also know that something is better than nothing.”

Well that’s fair. It’s not like Sehun’s trying to be a pessimist, but it’s just so hard when he’s feeling melodramatic and like the entire world’s going to end. It’s not like he’s the first person that’s had to go through this and it could be worse, so he just needs to suck it up and go on with his life. Jongin will still be there, just not as prominently as before. Sehun’s been acting stupidly for the last few days. He should enjoy the time he has with his friends, not mope about the inevitable separation that’s going to come.

And suddenly he feels just a little happier, enough so that he sends Baekhyun and Kyungsoo a genuine smile. They look confused, but smile back regardless.

Jongin appears not a minute later, lethargically putting his tray down and practically leaning his whole body against Sehun once he slumps down.

“What game were you playing late at night this time?” Sehun asks in amusement.

“Shut up,” Jongin mumbles, letting out a wide yawn right against Sehun’s neck.

Sehun recoils so sharply that Jongin’s head drops, neck snapping up right before he’s met face-first with the corner of the table.

“Sehun,” Jongin whines, a pout on his face as he rubs at the back of his neck.

“It’s not my fault!” Sehun squeaks. He’s still twitching slightly from the burst of hot air that had so rudely attacked his neck. He may not be the most sensitive (Baekhyun lets out this really high-pitched shriek whenever Sehun lightly brushes fingers against the back of his neck and Sehun relishes it) but it’s still no fun being on the receiving end of a sneak attack.

Bickering comes second nature to them, so it’s no surprise when they start, fingers jabbing into sides and offensive words they don’t mean getting thrown out.

“You guys are weird as fuck,” Baekhyun says amidst their little fight. As if on cue, they both stop and turn towards Baekhyun, whose eyes widen almost comically.

“What was that, hyung?” Jongin wonders innocently. “You want to be tickled?”

“No, no, continue on,” Baekhyun quickly says, one hand going down to protect his stomach, the other reaching up to shield his neck.

Kyungsoo’s the one that ends up poking him in the side, a large grin on his face when Baekhyun shrieks and almost falls off the chair.

“I trusted you!” Baekhyun wails.

By now, there’s a good chunk of people staring at them, but none of them care, all dissolving into laughter. A warmth settles in Sehun’s chest that only appears when he’s around his friends, doing stupid shit that he wouldn’t dare do with anyone else.

 

Fingers cramping and temple throbbing, Sehun steps out the doors on the last day of school with a wide smile on his face. He’s free from any school-related responsibilities for the next couple of months and now all he has to do is get through graduation practice, sit through a long ceremony and then he’ll be officially done with high school.

“Congratulations!” Tiffany exclaims as she passes by Sehun, a large smile on her face that’s easy to reciprocate.

He almost forgets that he’s supposed to meet Jongin near the tree that shades the entrance to the school, making a sharp u-turn when he passes by it. Jongin doesn’t take long, a large, happy grin on his face as he bounds up to Sehun.

“Test go well?” Sehun wonders. Jongin’s happiness is so damn infectious.

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t do worse than a B minus,” Jongin reports.

Sehun rolls his eyes. “A B minus, what a horrible grade to get on a final. Smart ass.”

Jongin blinks up at him in a way that Sehun knows all too well. He slaps a hand over Jongin’s mouth before he can say anything lewd. “No, you are _not_ my smart ass.”

Sehun can feel Jongin’s smile against his palm and it should be gross to have Jongin’s teeth brushing against his hand, but they’ve already kissed. And before his mind can end up in the gutter, he gets distracted with the adorable way Jongin’s eyes turn into crescents.

“Dork,” Sehun snorts, making to turn and walk away, but Jongin clings onto his shirt, pulling him back until they’re walking next to each other.

“Can we stop and get some ice cream? I’ll pay.”

And those are the magic words that have Sehun agreeing without qualms, Jongin snorting and shoving at him. “Cheap ass.”

“Well you offered, so I’m not going to decline,” Sehun replies.

It doesn’t hit him that this might be the last time he’s going to be walking home with Jongin until they’re almost at his house, ice cream cones in hand. It’s taking all that Sehun has not to look at Jongin while he licks at his ice cream cone with a blissed-out smile. It had happened once and Sehun vowed to never _ever_ let himself do it again.

Today’s a happy day, though, and Sehun chides himself for always thinking about negative things. He thought that love was supposed to paint your world in rainbows and disgustingly bright glitter and obnoxious hearts, but all he seems to be seeing is dull grey despite how brightly Jongin shines.

Time passes too quickly and before they know it, round after round of Mario Kart later, it’s almost midnight and Jongin’s mother is no doubt going to call soon.

There’s a lull, then, and it’s not entirely comfortable, but it’s not suffocating either. Sehun thinks it kind of tastes like goodbye, even though that’s ridiculous. For one, there’s graduation, and Sehun’s pretty sure that their friendship, which has so many years, so many memories, so many great times ingrained in, is going to be more than alright with some distance. Isn’t the saying distance makes the heart grow fonder? Sehun’s not really sure, isn’t that well-versed in English sayings, but his lack of knowledge is irrelevant.

“Hey,” Jongin says softly. The light blue-white from the screen illuminates Jongin’s features, casting shadows over his face and accentuating his jawline. Sehun’s mesmerized.

“Yeah?” he asks, just as softly.

Jongin doesn’t say anything for a while and that’s okay because now Sehun has the excuse to stare at Jongin’s face. It’s almost unfair how beautiful Jongin is, the way his lips are plush enough that even when he’s not talking, they still sit nicely on top of one another, how his eyes are so pretty and expressive even in the darkness, how his eyelashes touch his cheeks before retreating with every blink. It’s almost absurd how attractive Jongin is, but Sehun’s never going to complain, not with such perfection in front of him.

“I don’t really know,” Jongin finally mutters. A few seconds of silence and then they’re both laughing, quietly as to not wake Sehun’s parents up. “It just felt like I had to say something in that moment.”

“Or what?” Sehun muses. “Do you mean like ‘someone’s going to pop out of the darkness unless you send this to ten people within the next minute’ kind of moments or like ‘I just felt super uncomfortable because you’re so gross and lame that I _had_ to break the silence’ kind of moments?”

“Idiot,” Jongin says with a push to Sehun’s side and another burst of laughter. “Neither of those, in case you really wanted to know.”

“Then what’s up?”

Jongin’s teeth secure themselves over his bottom lip. “I don’t know,” he repeats. “Today has just...it’s felt off to me? But I can’t quite place why.”

Jongin doesn’t have to say more for Sehun to understand. He’s been feeling the same all day as well. He doesn’t know if Jongin feels the _exact_ same way, but he knows how difficult it is to describe how something feels different but not knowing _what_ feels different, even though nothing has changed at all.

Another silence settles over them, this time blanketing them in warmth. It’s almost like the air changes, sparkling with electricity that Sehun desperately tries to ignore. It’s one thing to feel like something’s different, but another entirely when he’s the one that actually causes something to be different. Kissing Jongin sounds like a fantastic idea right now, but it’s also incredibly stupid.

Sehun’s brain is too busy short-circuiting and flitting around from place to place that it takes a few extra seconds to realize that Jongin’s no longer sitting where he used to be.

There’s a ball of emotion in Sehun’s chest, but he doesn’t know how to explain it, doesn’t know why it chooses that moment to stick itself in his lungs. His breath gets stuck in his throat on the next exhale, eyes widening when Jongin’s face gets closer to his.

“Jongin?” Sehun asks, barely a whisper. This obviously isn’t the closest their faces have ever been, but Sehun’s heart pumps into overdrive like it is anyways.

Jongin only moves closer, and now Sehun really isn’t breathing. There’s something in Jongin’s eyes that, even this close, Sehun can’t pinpoint.

At the last second, Jongin turns his head, his soft lips landing on Sehun’s cheek instead. It has Sehun exhaling a shaky stutter of a breath, fingers twisting in his lap to stop from latching on to Jongin when he moves back. There’s a crease between Jongin’s eyebrows for a few seconds, slowly melting away to make way for Jongin’s usual sleepy face. Everything’s just like it was before Jongin decided that he was going to see how long Sehun could hold his breath without combusting, but Sehun _knows_ that what just happened wasn’t a figment of his imagination. It’s just unfortunate that the ball of emotion stuck in Sehun’s chest decides to stay there so he can’t say anything, doesn’t even make a sound when Jongin’s phone lights up with a call from his mother.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” Jongin murmurs once he hangs up. He doesn’t move, though, continues sitting mere feet away from Sehun.

“Okay,” Sehun breathes because there’s really not much else to say. Well, there are things to say, but none of them are right for this moment, perhaps not right ever.

With a small smile, Jongin slowly stands up and leaves, a stunned Sehun left to sit on the floor and wonder what the hell just happened.

 

Jongin doesn’t mention anything the next day, not that Sehun expected him to. Just because it’s been the only thing on Sehun’s mind for the last seven hours doesn’t mean that it had been on Jongin’s as well.

“Our last day together,” Baekhyun fake-sobs, dramatically throwing his arms around Sehun’s shoulders only for one of them to slip off due to how small Baekhyun’s arms are. Huffing, Baekhyun readjusts, letting out a little content sound when he hooks his fingers together right near Sehun’s neck.

“Baekhyun,” Sehun groans, throat constricting as it tries to obtain oxygen. “Breathing is important to me.”

“That’s nice,” Baekhyun chirps. Sehun’s about a second away from throwing him off when Baekhyun lets go with a laugh, looping an arm with Sehun’s instead.

Letting out a long-suffering sigh, Sehun keeps walking. He may seem annoyed, but he knows that he doesn’t mean it at all, that’s he absolutely going to miss this in a few months. Baekhyun may be annoying, but he’s one of Sehun’s best friends for a reason.

Graduation practice is probably the worst thing Sehun’s ever gone through in his life and he sat through almost all five hours of prom. It’s hot, they’re right under the bright beams of the sun, and he’s not sitting next to Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, _or_ Jongin. The person next to him practically fell to his knees in worship when he found out that Sehun was in the top ten of the school, and ever since then, he hasn’t stopped addressing Sehun as “valedictorian” even though Sehun doesn’t really count since there are nine valedictorians in total.

He just wants this whole ordeal to be over with. But then again, the faster this ends, the faster the impending goodbyes will happen.

Nothing exciting happens throughout the day and Sehun manages to make it out without obtaining a sunburn on his precious skin.

A familiar weight settles itself across Sehun’s shoulders, Jongin’s smile showing through his words when he wonders, “Wow, wasn’t that just the worst thing you’ve ever had to sit through?”

“Even worse than prom,” Sehun affirms. His skin itches from sitting outside for so long and he wonders, not for the first time, why they insisted on holding the ceremony outside when there was a perfectly large room inside they could’ve used.

“Well I can’t relate to that.” Jongin laughs, Sehun relaxing, stiffness he wasn’t even aware he had bleeding out of his muscles.

Sehun only continues to grumble as they head towards the cafeteria for the last time. Thank fuck he never has to eat the food from here again. It’s a miracle he’s never had any stomach problems in all the years he’s been here.

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo are already sitting there and waiting by the time they get food and make their way over.

“How did you get here so quickly?” Sehun asks in astonishment. The line after they got dismissed was so long that it took at least fifteen minutes to get here.

Kyungsoo shrugs. “Our last names are before yours so there weren’t as many people in front of us.”

“Lucky,” Jongin sighs. His arms drops from around Sehun’s shoulder. Sehun already misses the warmth.

“What are you doing tonight after graduation?” Baekhyun suddenly asks.

Sehun raises an eyebrow. “Why? Are you planning on showing up unannounced at my house? Again?”

Baekhyun easily waves him off. “I’ve only done it like six times. But no, I was just wondering. I thought that I might as well get in as much conversation as I can now.”

“So are you implying that you won’t contact us again after this?” Kyungsoo asks with bright eyes. Sehun can see right through him, though.

Baekhyun gasps, scandalized, as he puts a hand over his chest. “Soo...I’m offended you would think so lowly of me. Who else is supposed to bother you guys? I’m the only one good enough for the job.”

“You bother me enough already,” Kyungsoo mutters.

Sehun doesn’t miss the way Baekhyun’s arms shifts, looking suspiciously like it ends up on Kyungsoo’s upper thigh. Kyungsoo sighs softly not a second later, Sehun’s eyebrows raising at the motion. Logically, he knew that there was a large chance they were going to get together, but since they hadn’t said anything, Sehun had thought his assumption was wrong. He should’ve known Baekhyun was too persistent to even think about letting Kyungsoo out of his clutches after prom, but he’s still going to wait until they say something, if or when they do.

“Anyways!” Baekhyun exclaims after a few seconds, cheeks mysteriously a little pinker than they were previously. His eyes narrow. “You better not block my number after this. I do know where you live after all.”

“Damn, you caught on to me,” Sehun says with a snap of his fingers. Everyone but Baekhyun laughs, Sehun more so at the absolutely stunned look on Baekhyun’s face. “I’m kidding, Baekhyun.”

“That’s Baekhyun hyung, you brat,” Baekhyun replies, but he’s smiling his usual Baekhyun smile, the one that’s a little too square and a little too big, but it looks perfectly fine on Baekhyun’s face. He’s going to miss that smile, but he has a feeling that Baekhyun won’t give him time to forget it.

“After all this time and you still think that I’m going to call you that?” Sehun wonders.

“Jongin calls me hyung! Hell, even Kyungsoo does sometimes and he’s even worse than you.”

Jongin shrugs. “It’s easier to call you that than hear you whine at me.”

Sehun gives Jongin a high-five, beaming at the way Baekhyun starts sputtering. Kyungsoo’s enjoying it as well, but at least he attempts to comfort Baekhyun with a pat to the head that looks more patronizing than anything.

“Fine,” Baekhyun huffs as he turns his nose up and away. “Serves me right for trying to talk to you guys for the _last_ time on the _last_ day of school.”

It’s a blatant attempt of guilt-tripping that none of them fall for, which only causes Baekhyun to sulk more. Sehun, Jongin, and Kyungsoo all look at each other before nodding. It’s not something they do often, and Sehun doesn’t generally like hugging anyone that isn’t Jongin, but sometimes he just has to suck it up for Baekhyun’s sake. It’s easy to sneak up on Baekhyun considering he isn’t looking at any of them, too busy trying to stick his nose as high into the air as possible, so he practically jumps when three sets of arms wrap around him, a yelp escaping Baekhyun’s lips. He pretends to be angry, gives them his “I’m attempting to be fierce but I’m really a fluffy puppy” look, but it dissolves into a sweet smile, eyes curving up as he practically rubs himself against their arms like a content cat.

“I knew you guys couldn’t resist me,” Baekhyun exclaims, leaning his head against Kyungsoo’s shoulder as his hands reach up and clutch at both Jongin and Sehun’s shirts.

“If you don’t shut up, I’m going to leave,” Sehun threatens even though he doesn’t mean it. It’s not like he could anyways, not with the way Baekhyun’s fingers are molding themselves into Sehun’s shirt.

Jongin bumps hips with him, Sehun turning to shoot him a look only to melt at the sunny smile Jongin sends him. Breathing gets a little harder and Sehun hates how, after all this time, it _still_ isn’t easy to control his embarrassing reactions.

“You’re happy here, don’t deny it.”

Sehun snorts to attempt to cover the heat flooding his cheeks. Judging by Kyungsoo’s quiet laugh, he doesn’t quite succeed, but that’s okay because in the next second, Jongin’s leaning his head against Sehun’s shoulder, some of his soft hair tickling Sehun’s neck. It feels like home, but only one that he won’t ever be able to return to again.

 

Sehun’s exhausted. As he had predicted, graduation had been one of the longest ceremonies that he’s had to attend in his short life. He’s positive that nothing will ever top that. The speakers had all droned on and on, Sehun’s head bobbing up and down despite how rude he knew it was to fall asleep. Thankfully, the claps had been so loud that they woke him up and they were _finally_ onto the important part. After all of this time, all of the paper, all of the cramps, all of the brain cells, he was going to get his damn diploma. Granted, it was just a paper, but it was a _fancy_ piece of paper, one that told him he was going to get somewhere someday.

His mother’s a mess after the ceremony ends, blubbering words that Sehun doesn’t even understand into his chest. He shares a look with his father, one that causes his father to shake his head with a doting smile.

Everything after that happens so fast. He passes by person after person, gives each of them a hug and a “Congratulations!” as well as actual conversation for those that he knows on more than a superficial “You were in that _one_ class, right?” level.

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo somehow manage to find him at the same time, Baekhyun crashing into his left while Kyungsoo stops at an acceptable distance to his right.

“My Sehunnie,” Baekhyun wails. “You’re all grown-up now and moving on in the world.”

Sehun pats his head, albeit a little awkwardly as he shoots Kyungsoo a desperate look. When Kyungsoo simply smirks and pretends to look elsewhere, Sehun looks back down at Baekhyun, at a total loss.

“You graduated, too, you know,” Sehun informs him, as if Baekhyun doesn’t know that he sat through that long-ass ceremony as well.

“But you’re my baby,” Baekhyun blubbers.

Sehun’s nose wrinkles. “Okay, no.”

“Just let him let it out,” Kyungsoo mutters. “It’ll be easier that way.”

And even though he doesn’t want a snotty, crying Baekhyun hugging him, he knows that Kyungsoo’s right, and that, at the very least, he can tease the hell out of Baekhyun for this for years to come.

It takes less than five seconds for Baekhyun to step back, wipe his eyes, and beam up at Sehun. Sehun must look incredibly dumbfounded for Baekhyun laughs loudly, so loudly that Sehun can hear it clear as day even with all of the noise from everyone in the vicinity.

“Byun Baekhyun doesn’t cry,” Baekhyun says, almost proudly.

“You just did,” Kyungsoo informs him, a smile on his face. It seems that Sehun and Kyungsoo are on the same page with the teasing.

“You saw nothing,” Baekhyun hisses. He latches onto Sehun again, peering up at him with wide eyes and a cute smile. If he wasn’t so in love with Jongin, that could’ve sent his heart into overdrive. “I’ll really miss you, Sehunnie. You better not forget about me.”

“It’s almost impossible to forget someone like you,” Sehun retorts.

If Baekhyun were a dog, Sehun’s sure that his tail would be wagging right now. “Good. That’s how it should be. And if you ever forget, I always have pictures to remind you.”

A shiver goes down Sehun’s spine. He doesn’t want to know.

Baekhyun suddenly shrieks, Sehun flailing to try and get away from the deafening noise. Kyungsoo nudges Baekhyun away, grumbling, “Stop hogging him, Baek.”

“I wasn’t _hogging_ him-”

But Kyungsoo isn’t listening, instead choosing to stare up at Sehun with the softest eyes Sehun’s ever seen Kyungsoo direct at him. Somewhere, in the back of his brain, Sehun thinks that this must be a trick of the lights and the happiness of the day, but then Kyungsoo says, “You better listen well because I’m only going to say this once. I’m glad we met, even though I might not act like it. It’s okay, though, right? We get along because we both don’t show that many emotions. You’ll do well in the future, so don’t think that you aren’t good enough.”

It’s probably the most Kyungsoo has ever said to him, but it’s so _Kyungsoo_ that Sehun finds himself smiling and pulling Kyungsoo into a hug. Sehun’s not that great with words or hugs, but he’s still more comfortable with physical affection. He knows Kyungsoo understands when Kyungsoo pats him twice on the back before backing up.

“Thanks Kyungsoo hyung,” Sehun mumbles, cheeks warm.

“Hey!” Baekhyun squawks. “How come you call him hyung? I’ve been trying for four years!”

Shrugging, Sehun says, “Well maybe you’re going to have to keep bothering me for the next four years.”

Baekhyun’s eyes glitter, a smaller, but no less Baekhyun, smile lighting his face up. “I’ll hold you to that,” he says softly.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

And just as quickly as they came, they leave with hugs and promises of not changing phone numbers within the next four years.

Sehun sees a few more people after they leave, but none are more surprising than Yooyoung, who comes up to him with a gentle smile.

“Congratulations,” she says and Sehun’s so shocked that he’s barely able to stutter out the same.

Yooyoung laughs. “Thank you.” She looks him up and down, then, Sehun fidgeting. This graduation gown isn’t the most flattering and it’s not what he prefers her (or anyone) to remember him by. “I just wanted to let you know that, while we didn’t really know each other well, I’m glad that we managed to talk at least a few times. You’re sweet.” And then her eyes get this glint to them, Sehun’s stomach dropping in anticipation. “You would looks sweeter with Jongin by your side, though. It won’t be long! Good luck in college!” She smiles one last time as Sehun sputters out a rebuttal, but then she’s gone, hand raised in the air for a wave as she gets lost in the crowd.

Sehun even manages to find Luhan in the whole mess, getting pulled into a one-armed hugged that he _really_ wasn’t ready for. “Congrats, man. See you at the reunion,” Luhan shouts with a laugh, face lighting up when some guy pulls him away for a picture.

It’s almost been an hour since the ceremony ended and Jongin’s nowhere to be seen. For a brief, terrifying moment, Sehun entertains the idea that Jongin has already gone home, but then quickly dispels of it. There’s no way that Jongin would leave without saying goodbye to him. Right?

As if sensing his distress, someone appears right at his side, an arm haphazardly thrown over Sehun’s shoulders. Sehun’s body relaxes before Sehun’s mind figures out who it is. Damn, he’s really going to miss this.

Sehun turns to the left to find Jongin’s sunshine smile directed right at him. “Hey,” he breathes, sounding as if he’s just run a marathon in his haste to get over here.

“Hey,” Sehun responds, hoping that his voice doesn’t sound nearly as breathy as Jongin’s. He wouldn’t even have an excuse as to why, since he’s been standing in the same spot since Baekhyun and Kyungsoo found him.

“So this is it, huh?” Jongin wonders as he absentmindedly plays with the tassel on Sehun’s graduation cap.

“Your college is, like, thirty minutes away from mine,” Sehun says. He’s trying to be as positive as possible. Something is better than nothing as Kyungsoo said.

Jongin gives him a tight smile, but it’s gone before Sehun can think too much about it. “Yeah, not that far. I’m also pretty sure your mom would hit me if I didn’t come see either of you once a month.” He laughs, the sound washing over Sehun like a wave and enveloping him like a blanket. Sehun’s suddenly hit with pain, the thought that there isn’t much time left where he can hear Jongin’s sweet, melodious laughter finally catching up to him.

Think positive, he tells himself. He’s been able to hear Jongin’s laugh for years now. It’s time that he stops being greedy and let other people hear it too, but only as long as he can bottle up the sound and keep it tucked away in the broken wings of his heart and in the loving embrace of his memory partitioned away only for Jongin.

“Just remember,” Sehun says, “if you ever need anything, no matter the distance, I got you.”

Jongin doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, merely stares at Sehun. It’s impossible to look away, too entranced with how beautiful and deep Jongin’s eyes are. Sehun’s always had a weakness for them.

Jongin breaks the eye contact, Sehun sighing in relief. “Thank you.”

“Jongin!”

He doesn’t seem to hear his mother calling for him, and while Sehun would like this moment to last longer, he’s not as selfish as he likes to think he is. It’s with another sigh that Sehun lightly nudges Jongin in the ribs. “Your mom is calling for you,” Sehun informs gently. He doesn’t even know why he’s whispering, but it just feels right.

Eyes flickering over Sehun’s shoulder, Sehun feels Jongin nod once before he’s being pulled into a tight, tight hug. He doesn’t even have to think about it, arms winding around Jongin’s shoulders as Jongin’s go around his waist.

“I’ll see you,” Jongin mutters, arms starting to retract. Sehun feels panic well up in him, a fleeting trail of ice flowing throughout his body, protesting the loss of warmth, but he needs to let go. Sehun imprints the feel of Jongin in his arms in his memory, the last little bit of Jongin that he can keep with him.

“See you,” Sehun says and then Jongin’s gone, feet dragging as he walks over to his mother. Sehun sends her a smile and a small bow once she notices him and then they’re off, disappearing in the throng of students still present.

 

Sehun has no idea what to do over the next week. He sleeps half of the next day away and the only productive thing he does is scroll through Facebook, smiling at the sheer amount of graduation pictures that have been posted in the last twelve hours.

Days bleed into weeks and soon, it’s time to start packing for college.

Sehun’s phone pings right as he’s debating whether or not he should leave his giant cat plushie behind, snorting once he reads the message in their group chat. Baekhyun never fails to leave something amusing. Even the way he announced his relationship with Kyungsoo was amusing, but what was even funnier was the way Kyungsoo had replied with only _Baekhyun_ and Baekhyun had disappeared from the chat for hours. This time, it’s a complaint about how his dog keeps sitting on his clothes, barking whenever Baekhyun gets near.

_its like he knows im leaving_

There are several crying emojis after that, Sehun shaking his head as he throws the cat plushie in the ‘take’ box.

A knock sounds out behind him, and he finds his mother standing there with a smile. “How’s it going?”

“It would better if someone helped me,” Sehun huffs, rather childishly, as he plops down on his bed in mock exhaustion.

His mother looks around innocently as she wonders, “Help you? I don’t know anyone that’s available to help at the moment.”

“Mom,” Sehun whines. His mother laughs, the soft, gentle sound washing over Sehun and wrapping him up in _home_.

“I have something for you,” she says as she sits by his side. Sehun hadn’t noticed until now, but she has one hand behind her back, her eyes glittering in a way that Sehun has learned to recognize as trouble. It’s only natural that he’s wary, leaning back as he slowly asks what it is.

“Don’t look at me like I’m about to poison you,” his mother mutters. “It happens to be a very nice gift.”

Sehun still doesn’t believe her, but he’ll admit that his curiosity is piqued.

“A picture frame?” he wonders once she plops the object in his lap.

“Turn it over,” she replies, a gentleness taking over her tone.

Sehun barely contains his gasp when he turns it over. First, he’s confused because she’s already shown him the one-hundred and twenty-seven pre-prom pictures she took. He doesn’t understand why he needs a framed one if he can just ask her to email him one. Second, he’s a little bitter since Jongin and Luhan look entirely cozy in their little corner while Sehun has a strained smile in the other end. Lastly, he’s shocked because Jongin isn’t staring at the camera, but at _Sehun_.

“I-I don’t understand,” Sehun stutters, fingers shaking as he runs a finger over the glass. “Why are you giving this to me?”

His mother doesn’t respond for a few seconds. Sehun has no idea what she’s doing, almost caught in a trance as he stares and stares at the picture. “I know you see it,” she finally says. “I won’t say anymore, but I thought that it would be beneficial if you had this.”

She’s up and gone before Sehun’s brain can formulate a response.

The Jongin in the picture is looking at Sehun so _softly_ that Sehun feels an ache in his own chest despite the fact that he’s not in the picture, not on the receiving end of that beautiful half-smile. Jongin usually laughs and smiles with his whole face, eyes and nose scrunching up cutely, but here, his smile is as gentle as Sehun’s ever seen it, no hint of teeth anywhere.

Sehun knows what his means – has been denying the clues for months now – and yet it’s still hard to believe. Jongin hasn’t said anything, hasn’t done anything that would indicate that something has changed between them. Well, other than that random kiss on the cheek. Sehun wants to believe it, wants to so badly that his body screams with it, but there’s also part of him that just can’t. It’s like being given a cookie jar and having it get ripped away while you’re blissfully unaware. And yet his body aches to believe that Jongin, just _maybe_ , could feel the same way.

His head’s a mess. Thought after thought flit by, none staying long enough for Sehun to latch onto and make tangible. Closing his eyes doesn’t help, either. Sighing, Sehun runs one last finger over the glass before placing it face-down on his bedside table. He’ll think about it later.

 

He’s a dirty liar. The picture has stayed in the same position for three days now. It’s surprisingly easy to ignore when he gets up and when he goes to sleep, or at least that’s what he tells himself.

Sehun’s just dropped another shirt in the ‘take’ box when his phone nearly vibrates itself off of the bedside table. It’s almost like a slap how Sehun had not-so-accidentally put his phone right next to the picture frame – no matter how much he tries to ignore it, it just won’t go away.

_Window pls_

“Jongin?” Sehun wonders out loud. Jongin never texts him this when it’s still sunny out, and one quick check at the time tells Sehun that it’s barely three in the afternoon. It’s the middle of the day; Jongin has no reason to not use the door like a normal person, but Sehun’s never been good at denying Jongin anything.

“What are you doing?” Sehun wonders right as he opens the window. Jongin’s climbing in with a smile, completely disregarding the question as he looks around Sehun’s room with a whistle.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen your room this empty.”

“It’s not entirely empty.”

“No,” Jongin hums, “but it’s definitely cleaner.”

Normally, Sehun would tease back, mutter an insult as he shoves at Jongin, but he’s just not in the mood today, too worn out from all of the boxes he’s had to pack and how much his back hurts. He’s in what Baekhyun likes to call his “grumpy kitten mode.” Instead, he asks, “What did you want, Jongin?” He hopes that Jongin doesn’t notice the tired undertone his words take on.

It’s like a flip is switched, Jongin’s eyes going from playful to serious in a matter of seconds.

“Can’t I just see my best friend?”

Looking into Jongin’s eyes, Sehun can’t help but get lost like he’s wont to do. Yet the soft fall of Jongin’s eyes doesn’t help the sharp descent of Sehun’s heart into pins and needles. Oh, how the selfish part of him wishes he was more than Jongin’s best friend.

“You can when he’s not busy packing his entire life away into six boxes,” Sehun tries to joke, but the delivery falls flat.

From the corner of his eye, he can see Jongin picking at the bottom of his shirt, Sehun zoning in on the entirely familiar habit, as if it was his own instead of Jongin’s. He knows that Jongin’s about to say something, can feel it in the way his heart rate kicks into overdrive. Jongin doesn’t disappoint, although it does take him a few tries before he speaks.

“I, uh, figured something out a few weeks back and, uh, the next thing I knew, I was outside your window.” Jongin laughs, but it’s not as rich and beautiful as it normally is. He continues despite the fear that Sehun can so clearly see in his eyes. It’s the most vulnerable that Jongin’s ever been with him and Sehun knows that whatever he’s about to say is going to be important. “You’re there...you’re always there and I don’t want to you to leave. I need you with me.”

Sehun’s face hardens. “Is that all you want me for?” He knew he shouldn’t have listened, knew he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up.

“No, no,” Jongin says, panicked. “That’s not...that’s not it. I just realized a few months ago that, despite how obvious it was and still is, we were going to be headed off to different colleges. Then it hit me that you weren’t going to be there with me. The only constant in my life and we were going to be separated just like that, like nothing had ever happened. It _hurt_ , Hun. We aren’t separate people, we’re one and I need you in my life like I need to breathe.”

 _Sehun_ can’t breathe. Nothing seems real and he almost trips over one of his half-full boxes on the floor when he stumbles slightly.

Jongin continues on. “You’re there...always have been. You’ve been there when I was sad, when I was happy, when I was confused. How many times have you cried and I wasn’t there to wipe away your tears? How many times did you feel alone and I wasn’t there to comfort you?”

“Too many,” Sehun whispers. He chides himself for being weak, for breaking down what little remains of the walls around his heart at Jongin’s upset expression. “But it’s okay, you don’t need to see my face when I’m crying.”

Jongin doesn’t laugh like Sehun expects him to. He stares at Sehun, beautiful brown eyes boring right into his.

“You like me, right, Sehun?” Jongin asks and Sehun doesn’t have time to think, doesn’t have time to breathe before he’s opening his mouth.

“So much that it hurts.”

Jongin steps forward and takes Sehun’s hand in his own, the warmth feeling so, so welcoming at the moment. Since everything’s out, and Jongin doesn’t look half as disgusted as Sehun thought he would, his brain-to-mouth filter decides that now is a wonderful time to malfunction. If Jongin opened himself up, let himself be set up for cuts and bruises, Sehun can do the same.

“You know...” Sehun starts, having absolutely no idea where he’s going with this, but he’s never had to be coherent for Jongin to understand him. Jongin always understands him. “I always thought that it was okay to just be your best friend, to watch you hang out with other people and be happy with other people. And it does make me happy, but it seems as if I’m destined to _only_ be your best friend and nothing more. I can love you like a friend for the rest of my life, but I want to love you like a man, too.”

Word after word flows out, the most that Sehun’s ever said, even to Jongin. All the things that he’s wanted to say, but has never had the courage to until now, and every gross emotion that his body conjures up whenever Jongin’s around, he tells Jongin about it. It should be embarrassing – and it _will_ be embarrassing in about five minutes – but Sehun really doesn’t care. He’s been waiting years for this moment and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t make the most out of it. There’s always time later to curl up and tell himself how stupid of a decision this was, but there’s just something in him that breaks looking at Jongin, so close but soon to be so far. Sehun regrets a lot of things in life, but this isn’t going to be one of them.

Breathing is simultaneously easier and harder after he’s done, chest rising and falling in order to get enough air. It’s a little crushing with the way Jongin’s looking at him with large eyes and parted lips but more than that, it feels amazing to have everything out in the open.

“How...” Jongin’s eyebrows furrow in concentration before smoothing out. He continues muttering to himself, almost as if he doesn’t know he’s doing it, which is adorable. “You know what, it doesn’t matter how long. It looks like I have some catching up to do, but at least I have time since you’ll be right down the hall.”

Sehun freezes. “What?”

“What?” Jongin squeaks, panicked. “Nothing, I didn’t say anything.”

Sehun might be in shock and his ears might be rushing from his confession, but he would be able to hear Jongin through anything.

“We aren’t going to the same school.”

Jongin’s eyes flit around the room, looking everywhere but at Sehun, one hand still latched onto the frayed bottom hem of his shirt.

Sehun steps forward, small, hesitant. “Right?”

“Sur...prise?” Jongin asks with a sheepish tilt of the lips.

There are too many questions swirling through his head, the most prominent being _why_ , but Sehun doesn’t care at the moment. He can find the answers later.

“You’re such an asshole,” Sehun claims, but then he’s barreling into Jongin, who laughs as he’s tackled down onto the bed. What ensues is a tickle war that has Sehun’s breath catching from exertion just as much as from Jongin’s smiling face, cheeks scarlet from all of the laughing he’s doing.

“I don’t know if you got it,” Jongin whispers a little while later, breath warm against Sehun’s collarbones, “but I like you.”

Sehun buries his face into Jongin’s hair to stop the smile on his face from growing too wide. It doesn’t work. He never thought that he would hear those words from Jongin.

Jongin starts to wiggle away when Sehun doesn’t say anything, but Sehun tightens his grip so he’s not allowed to go anywhere.

“Silly,” Sehun mutters. “Weren’t you listening to my long speech?”

Jongin buries himself even further. “I did, I just...”

Sehun doesn’t have to look to know that there’s a splash of red adorning Jongin’s cheeks.

“It’s the most I’ve ever said. I can’t believe you weren’t listening,” Sehun teases, adding in a faux sad sniffle at the end for effect.

Jongin’s head pops up from its place under Sehun’s chin, eyes round as they look at Sehun. “I was listening. Very well. It just didn’t feel real. It only caught up to me when you tackled me down.”

Sehun can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of his chest. “I’m the one that’s been pining for years and you think _you_ can’t believe it. You’re cute.”

And then Jongin’s gone, face back to Sehun’s collarbones and whining about how Sehun can’t just _say_ things like that when he’s not ready.

Sehun simply pulls Jongin closer, nudges a foot between Jongin’s tangled legs. “You’ll get used to it,” Sehun says, not even trying to contain his grin anymore. This is the happiest he’s been in a long, long time. “Eventually.”

Jongin only scoots closer with another whine that Sehun absolutely coos at.

 

Sehun tells Baekhyun and Kyungsoo the news through their group chat two days later. Baekhyun’s response is almost immediate.

_I FUCKIGN KNE YW IT. YOUGUYS RE SU FUCKING GROSS_

And not a minute later, Sehun’s phone vibrates two more times.

_Fuckin finally tho_

_I bet youve already done the do /wiggles eyebrows_

Sehun mutes the chat.

 

The lazy makeouts are one of Sehun’s favorite things about dating Jongin.

There are a lot of things that Sehun likes about dating Jongin, and if you asked, Sehun would never shut up about all of them, would always find more to add to the list, but this beats it all.

The dorm beds aren’t the most comfortable, but that doesn’t really stop them from pushing each other down when they want one or two or six kisses in between classes. It’s pure luck that Sehun’s roommate Zitao is never around in the day. Zitao’s a sweet kid, and Sehun has told Jongin more than once about how fortunate he is to have gotten paired up with Zitao, but Sehun would rather not have him around as he tries to stick his tongue down Jongin’s throat. To be fair, though, Sehun would also have no qualms pulling Jongin aside before or after class for a quick kiss, but one, he knows he would never go through with it, and two, Jongin would never let him do it. Jongin’s shyness is endearing.

It only gets better when Jongin’s shirtless and he can run his hand up and down Jongin’s toned chest to illicit a shiver in response. It’s almost like a game to Sehun, seeing how many times he can make Jongin arch into him, how many times Jongin has to break away for air, how many times Jongin has to clench and unclench his hold on Sehun’s shirt. He’s usually the only one that likes this game, but it’s not his fault when Jongin looks so beautiful spread out under him for him to take. Sehun knows he won’t ever get tired of how warm Jongin’s skin is under his palm or how soft Jongin’s lips are under his lips.

“Hun,” Jongin whines, stomach contracting when Sehun brushes his hand lower, lower, lower to the waistband of his pants.

Sehun simply hums in question, lips and hands continuing their descent as if he hadn’t heard Jongin say anything at all.

“Insatiable,” Jongin huffs out, but he doesn’t make a move to stop Sehun’s hands from going even lower. Sehun can only smile against Jongin’s hip.

Jongin’s silence and immobility break when Sehun softly kisses next to Jongin’s belly button as he teasingly dips a finger under Jongin’s waistband, and he pulls Sehun up before he can get any lower or succeed in pulling Jongin’s zipper down, their lips meeting for a slow, soft kiss that leaves Sehun breathless. It’s not even the kiss itself that leaves him lightheaded, but the pure affection he can feel through it. It’s almost like Jongin’s trying to tell Sehun exactly how much he cares through the gentle press of lips.

Humming, Sehun leans back down for kiss after kiss when Jongin pulls back to pant softly.

“Stop, stop,” Jongin mutters, but Sehun doesn’t listen. He’s always been addicted to Jongin; adding one more thing to the list doesn’t bother him at all, especially when the kisses are as nice as these.

Jongin turns his head with a laugh when Sehun leans down again and Sehun huffs. “Rude.”

“If you want to keep kissing me, you need to let me breathe at some point. I don’t think kissing a corpse would be very fun,” Jongin responds with a laugh.

“I hate your logic,” Sehun complains, but stops, knowing that Jongin’s right. He feels more than hears Jongin’s chuckle, cheek vibrating from where it’s propped on Jongin’s chest.

Fingers gently card through Sehun’s hair, a content sigh leaving his lips. Damn Jongin for knowing Sehun and his weak spots so well. It doesn’t take long for sleepiness to overtake him, and Sehun’s almost tipping off the precipice of sleep when Jongin wheezes out, “You’re very heavy, you know that?”

Affronted and ready to respond with something snarky, Sehun lifts his head to glare at Jongin, stopping short when he notices the soft glimmer in Jongin’s eyes.

“You’re gross,” Sehun grumbles, heart beating faster and faster the more he thinks about what was in that gaze. A smile curls his lips up when he rests his head on Jongin’s chest and hears Jongin’s heart fluttering away, Sehun’s own heart taking off for flight as well.

It’s too early to talk about love, but Sehun’s never been more sure that he loves Jongin and probably has from day one. There’s nothing that Sehun doesn’t love about Jongin, not how sweaty his chest is as Sehun puts his cheek on it, not how Jongin flicks Sehun on the forehead to get his attention, not how Jongin sometimes forgets to do the laundry and steals one of Sehun’s shirts, not how Jongin drags him out for impromptu visits to the ice cream shop on campus, not how Jongin sometimes snores in his sleep.

When they're together, they breathe together, their hearts _beat_ together.

Sehun feels like an idiot for not noticing it sooner, but he would do it all again in a heartbeat if it meant that Jongin would still be in his arms at the end of every day. Waiting for Jongin will always be worth it.


End file.
